What are your expectations for your life?
And do your expectations include expectations for other people? Or do you just sort of let everyone else do as they please?
I wish I could do that. I wish I didn't feel the need to set my life up in such a way that I need other people to act according to my plan.
I'm working on that, I really am.
But then again, you have to have some expectations for the people in your life. Otherwise, you'll be selling yourself short. And you could end up with some major moochers along the way (::ahem:: not mentioning anyone who I was ever involved with).
Argh. I want to just make a list of all the crappy things from our relationship. Sort of like the dumbass list he sent me of all the things he took from the house...an incomplete list, of course, as I found out when I got to the house. How he would take money from my bag, the lies, lies and more lies, the certifiably nuts mother who i'm sure is overjoyed to have her "wittew wy wy" back, the inability to, well, ya know (wonder if those last two things were related...). Barf.
I once had absurdly high expectations for myself. Academically, professionally, socially...I was supposed to be able to do it all and be at the top of my game in everything.
Reality is a bitch.
Over the last few years, I set more realistic goals for myself. I also changed my priorities. I'm okay with not being a "name" in my chosen field. I'm happy with knowing I'm doing something I enjoy.
Then there's all the other stuff that was a huge focus for me... marriage, family, home. I wanted that more than anything. Now I can go back to just focusing on school and career. I guess that's a good thing, but it just means changing my priorities for a while.
When I was back at my house last week, I realized that a lot of my plans for the house are different now. Six months ago, I was thinking about kids rooms and how I could make the room over the garage a combo office/playroom. Now it's all for me. Now my plans for the house involve decorating, painting, and making my house my own. No plans for kids rooms or playrooms, though I'm still going with my office idea.
I want a glass of wine and an evening at the beach.
No deal, though. I still have two months of school. Oh, and jujitsu class tonight.
Apparently, 6 hours of jujitsu a week for the past few months have done this body good.
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2 comments:
Thanks for the chat tonight, dear. I've linked my new blog, because well....I'm adding yours to my blogroll so I don't forget where it is.
Anyway...I'll talk to you later. ;)
Here's to your expectations!
Someone once told me this quote years ago, and I've always tried to remember it and pass it along when appropriate. Now is one of those times. I can't remember it word for word, but it goes a little something like this:
When you've crossed the bridge of darkness and you're standing on the edge...ready to step into the light, you can be sure of two things; You will either be given a soft place to land or you will be given wings to fly.
It's time for you to soar Liz.
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