January 24, 2006 3:29pm

I hate this. Just when I think I'm okay, I fall apart again.

And I'm pissed off.

What a man! Doesn't tell me that he's doing this. Moves out (presumably with the help of some of his scum bag friends). And the whole while he's talking to me like nothing's wrong. Drives down here in his parents fucking car. Who knows who came down with him. 500 miles is a lot of time to think and he was like a programmed robot with what he had to say.

Everyone I've talked to thinks he must be the world's biggest ass. Just for the way he decided to end an 8 year relationship, if for nothing else. Because a couple months have been bad he bails. Nice. Real mature.

He always was pretty immature so I guess I shouldn't be so surprised. Now he's home with mommy and daddy again and he can feel secure that he doesn't have any actual responsibilities. They won't expect much from him and he'll be happy settling for being an underachiever who goes nowhere with his life.

Thinking back on all the lies he told me...just recently and probably for years....and how he said even on Saturday that "I've never lied to you." makes me ill. How do people like this sleep at night knowing what they do?

I don't know how to be okay.