January 19, 2006 10:53pm

I'm getting married.

Not right now, but in a year and a half I will be getting married.

There's a great deal of irony in that since I never considered myself to be the marrying type. I hated the entire idea of marriage. Only boring people get married. Or maybe people get boring after they get married.

So it's ironic that I should be getting married in a very traditional way to a very traditional man.

Still keeping my name, though.

I think marriage was invented by people for foresaw the coming of the wedding industry. Nostradamus must have said something about all of this.

What's annoying me today? Lack of privacy. I don't mean in the "someone may be tapping my phone" sense. I mean that if my neighbor has a party on, oh, say a Wednesday night that goes until, oh, say 3am, I can hear it because we share a wall.

Apartments were the worst invention ever. Everyone should be separated by at least 1 acre of land.

I have absolutely no idea how big an acre is. I'm from New Jersey. Size and distance are measured by how long it takes you to get there. "How far is New York City?" About an hour. "How far is Philly?" About an hour. "How far is Atlantic City?" About an hour.

Miles are irrelevant. Montclair is 10 miles up the Parkway from Union, but it will take you "about an hour" to go that distance at 5pm on a weekday.

I have gone way off topic tonight.


I like talking to people who understand my humor. I think humor and intelligence are related. Most people don't get my humor, which is probably why I think most people are really dumb.

Yup, that's a true confession.





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