My week in Lewisburg is nearly over.
I didn't even realize I could leave a day early until N- informed me that he was leaving tonight to go visit his girlfriend. Well sheesh! If I knew we could that, I would have made arrangements to leave! However, I know that if I skipped tomorrow's session and didn't get to see the feedback from my OSCE test, I would spend the next month in mental agony wondering if I passed.
Instead, I'm sitting in my hotel room in GI agony.
I think I am going to finally have to admit that I have an acid problem.
In fact, I have an acid problem so bad that I seem to spend most of the day feeling either nauseated or like there is a fire in my belly that is trying to escape through my mouth.
I'm also getting very tired of waking up in the morning with partially digested food in my mouth that I must have coughed up.
Gross. Super gross.
I ate one meal today and have been regretting it since noon. Two Zantac and four Tums aren't even beginning to take the edge off. Don't even think about asking me to lay down because that becomes another gastric nightmare.
I wish I was hungry. I really do. It's nearly 7:30pm and dinner would be the traditional activity, but even thinking about food makes me churn even more.
It is very true that medical professionals make the worst patients. This is because we try to manage a problem ourselves, but since nobody is an expert in everything we just get sicker and sicker until we get to a crisis point...and then seek the help of a colleague.
Help!
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Sunday, April 06, 2008
April 7, 2008 12:27am
Back in Lewisburg for a week of assorted nonsense required by school.
I'm happy to be back here because I really missed this town....I think. Maybe I just missed the routine of school. I know for sure that I missed the burgers at Jim's Drive-In, the organic steaks at Stardust and the vegan wraps at The Wild Bean.
Clearly, I am very food oriented.
I packed up everything from the house in Buckhannon and drove back down to where my life in WV began.
At the moment, I am in bed at the Hampton Inn. I love Hampton Inn hotels. Maybe it's all Hilton hotels, but I especially love Hampton Inns. I love it because there is a great big bed with fluffy blankets and a lap desk. I can get a hot breakfast in the morning and coffee all day.
Unfortunately, most of my class is also staying at this hotel. It is more like the WVSOM dorm than my beloved Hampton Inn hotel. People I know are everywhere, and I feel like a hermit in my room. I ran into a classmate at the elevator. He said something like, "This week won't be so bad. School all day and then we get to party all night."
Obviously, he doesn't know me very well. I didn't "party" at all my first two years of school here. I'm not about to start now.
I have an absurd amount of luggage in the room with me. I didn't plan for packing well, and I just threw everything into bags. I didn't bother to separate out what I would need for my week here versus what I need for the rest of my life in NJ. Basically, I have every toiletry item, every piece of underwear, and every sock I own in this room, along with various other unmatched clothing items.
But I am in a Hampton Inn, so life is good. I told Roger we should consider moving into one.
What I am most looking forward to for this week is knowing that I don't have to make breakfast. someone else is making it for me. someone else is putting out the yogurt and fruit and bagel or whatever else might be on the menu.
Yes, the Hampton Inn is just about the closest thing there is to heaven right here on earth.
Clearly, my standards for heaven are not set very high.
I'm happy to be back here because I really missed this town....I think. Maybe I just missed the routine of school. I know for sure that I missed the burgers at Jim's Drive-In, the organic steaks at Stardust and the vegan wraps at The Wild Bean.
Clearly, I am very food oriented.
I packed up everything from the house in Buckhannon and drove back down to where my life in WV began.
At the moment, I am in bed at the Hampton Inn. I love Hampton Inn hotels. Maybe it's all Hilton hotels, but I especially love Hampton Inns. I love it because there is a great big bed with fluffy blankets and a lap desk. I can get a hot breakfast in the morning and coffee all day.
Unfortunately, most of my class is also staying at this hotel. It is more like the WVSOM dorm than my beloved Hampton Inn hotel. People I know are everywhere, and I feel like a hermit in my room. I ran into a classmate at the elevator. He said something like, "This week won't be so bad. School all day and then we get to party all night."
Obviously, he doesn't know me very well. I didn't "party" at all my first two years of school here. I'm not about to start now.
I have an absurd amount of luggage in the room with me. I didn't plan for packing well, and I just threw everything into bags. I didn't bother to separate out what I would need for my week here versus what I need for the rest of my life in NJ. Basically, I have every toiletry item, every piece of underwear, and every sock I own in this room, along with various other unmatched clothing items.
But I am in a Hampton Inn, so life is good. I told Roger we should consider moving into one.
What I am most looking forward to for this week is knowing that I don't have to make breakfast. someone else is making it for me. someone else is putting out the yogurt and fruit and bagel or whatever else might be on the menu.
Yes, the Hampton Inn is just about the closest thing there is to heaven right here on earth.
Clearly, my standards for heaven are not set very high.
Thursday, March 13, 2008
March 13, 2008 6:43pm
I hate when I don't write for a while and then I have to update everything quickly.
In short, finished off my ER rotation, went home for a long weekend, found "The Dress" and am now on my Surgery rotation.
Since Roger reads this blog but he doesn't want to see the dress, I will just provide a link to it. This picture isn't quite so accurate, though, because mine will be in light gold (shows up darker than in the picture), with spaghetti straps, and a sweetheart neckline. None of those words mean anything to Roger so we're safe.
Surgery has been....tiring. I don't know if I mentioned that during my OBGyn rotation, I went horizontal my first day 20 minutes into a hysterectomy. I was banished from the OR for cases longer than 10 minutes after that, so this was going to be my first venture back there (but at a different hospital).
The grossness of bowel resections cannot even be put into words. Today, I referred to it as "Medical School Fear Factor". Luckily, everyone laughed (including the surgeon).
A HUGE pet peeve of mine is when doctors sell shit out of their office. Now don't start on the pharm reps and their pens and note pads and lunch lectures because I will swear up and down (despite what Ted Kennedy says) that a good physician makes clinical judgments based on what is best for his or her patients and not what Pfizer Matt brought for lunch that day. And you can't tell me that just because a Dr gets a free clicky pen that they are going to unnecessarily write for that drug. My mom does peds and I've seen her with a Viagra pen. I'm pretty sure she's not putting the kiddos on Viagra....
...but I digress....
What bothers me is when doctors set up a display in their waiting room of some kind of happy horseshit that they are selling. If it's girl scout cookies, I don't care, but more often it is some kind of vitamin, dietary supplement, or weight loss drug.
And this Dr does just that. She sells vitamins. She takes about 40 of them a day herself. Her husband left his job to become a full time distributor for this company. She gets her patients to start these vitamins (basic package is $65 per month) because she believes it will make them healthier.
Now, after spending a few days with her I can honestly say that she does truly believe it will make them healthier. Personally, I love alternative treatments and therapies. Hell, I'm in osteopathic school where we spend a ton of time learning the very "alternative" treatment of manipulative medicine. However, performing a manipulation treatment on someone is very different from handing them a bottle of pills and asking for money for it. In one, they (or their insurance company) is paying for a service I can provide based on my schooling and training. In the other, a patient is handing over money for a bottle of vitamins that I am getting a % of for a mark-up...and they could buy the same thing at Wal-Mart for a whole lot less!!!!
I also am really into herbal remedies, natural remedies, and vitamin therapies. Really, I am. I swear. I love that stuff. I take a handfull of vitamins 3x each day. I can't wait until I'm a "real" Dr with a license and can actually give people advice legally. I can't wait to tell them about how great Omega-3's are and how important Vitamin D may be in preventing some cancers....but I'm not going to hand over a bottle and say "that will be $65 please."
They can follow my advice or not. They can go to the store and buy a bottle or not. They can price comparison shop at 3 different stores! They have some freedom in deciding if they want to try this. Personally, I think that freedom is gone when your doctor not only recommends a product, but sticks it on the table in front of you and wants you to decide if you will buy it from her right there.
So, one would wonder why a doctor would want to participate in this kind of business endeavor rather than just recommend specific treatments/regimens or even recommend a brand that they happen to think is really good.
I asked the question.
The answer? Money. Apparently, she doesn't think she's getting paid enough. She isn't being paid enough by the hospital to support her "entire" family, so she has to do this because "I don't want to be operating when I'm, like, 60."
What, pray tell, did you plan to do when you are 60? Are we still looking for what we want to be when we grow up? Vitamin sales is it!
Furthermore, don't tell me about how you don't make enough money to support your family so you have to sell vitamins out of your office, and then get into your BMW convertible to drive home.
Just....just don't. Please. Save yourself the embarrassment. Your BMW is gorgeous. Really, it is. It's white and has tan leather interior. Honestly, when you are the only surgeon at a hospital and are on call 24/7, do 10-15 cases per day scheduled plus add-ons and emergencies, you really do deserve every single penny you make. When I see patients and their families hugging you in the waiting room, I have no doubt you have earned your money....whatever it may be. But please, don't drive off in a fancy car, go on ski trips with your family, get a weekly massage and then complain you don't make "enough" so you have to sell vitamins. Take it up with the hospital. Ask for a raise. Threaten to leave if you have to, but don't stoop to the level of cashing in on a trend.
In short, finished off my ER rotation, went home for a long weekend, found "The Dress" and am now on my Surgery rotation.
Since Roger reads this blog but he doesn't want to see the dress, I will just provide a link to it. This picture isn't quite so accurate, though, because mine will be in light gold (shows up darker than in the picture), with spaghetti straps, and a sweetheart neckline. None of those words mean anything to Roger so we're safe.
Surgery has been....tiring. I don't know if I mentioned that during my OBGyn rotation, I went horizontal my first day 20 minutes into a hysterectomy. I was banished from the OR for cases longer than 10 minutes after that, so this was going to be my first venture back there (but at a different hospital).
The grossness of bowel resections cannot even be put into words. Today, I referred to it as "Medical School Fear Factor". Luckily, everyone laughed (including the surgeon).
A HUGE pet peeve of mine is when doctors sell shit out of their office. Now don't start on the pharm reps and their pens and note pads and lunch lectures because I will swear up and down (despite what Ted Kennedy says) that a good physician makes clinical judgments based on what is best for his or her patients and not what Pfizer Matt brought for lunch that day. And you can't tell me that just because a Dr gets a free clicky pen that they are going to unnecessarily write for that drug. My mom does peds and I've seen her with a Viagra pen. I'm pretty sure she's not putting the kiddos on Viagra....
...but I digress....
What bothers me is when doctors set up a display in their waiting room of some kind of happy horseshit that they are selling. If it's girl scout cookies, I don't care, but more often it is some kind of vitamin, dietary supplement, or weight loss drug.
And this Dr does just that. She sells vitamins. She takes about 40 of them a day herself. Her husband left his job to become a full time distributor for this company. She gets her patients to start these vitamins (basic package is $65 per month) because she believes it will make them healthier.
Now, after spending a few days with her I can honestly say that she does truly believe it will make them healthier. Personally, I love alternative treatments and therapies. Hell, I'm in osteopathic school where we spend a ton of time learning the very "alternative" treatment of manipulative medicine. However, performing a manipulation treatment on someone is very different from handing them a bottle of pills and asking for money for it. In one, they (or their insurance company) is paying for a service I can provide based on my schooling and training. In the other, a patient is handing over money for a bottle of vitamins that I am getting a % of for a mark-up...and they could buy the same thing at Wal-Mart for a whole lot less!!!!
I also am really into herbal remedies, natural remedies, and vitamin therapies. Really, I am. I swear. I love that stuff. I take a handfull of vitamins 3x each day. I can't wait until I'm a "real" Dr with a license and can actually give people advice legally. I can't wait to tell them about how great Omega-3's are and how important Vitamin D may be in preventing some cancers....but I'm not going to hand over a bottle and say "that will be $65 please."
They can follow my advice or not. They can go to the store and buy a bottle or not. They can price comparison shop at 3 different stores! They have some freedom in deciding if they want to try this. Personally, I think that freedom is gone when your doctor not only recommends a product, but sticks it on the table in front of you and wants you to decide if you will buy it from her right there.
So, one would wonder why a doctor would want to participate in this kind of business endeavor rather than just recommend specific treatments/regimens or even recommend a brand that they happen to think is really good.
I asked the question.
The answer? Money. Apparently, she doesn't think she's getting paid enough. She isn't being paid enough by the hospital to support her "entire" family, so she has to do this because "I don't want to be operating when I'm, like, 60."
What, pray tell, did you plan to do when you are 60? Are we still looking for what we want to be when we grow up? Vitamin sales is it!
Furthermore, don't tell me about how you don't make enough money to support your family so you have to sell vitamins out of your office, and then get into your BMW convertible to drive home.
Just....just don't. Please. Save yourself the embarrassment. Your BMW is gorgeous. Really, it is. It's white and has tan leather interior. Honestly, when you are the only surgeon at a hospital and are on call 24/7, do 10-15 cases per day scheduled plus add-ons and emergencies, you really do deserve every single penny you make. When I see patients and their families hugging you in the waiting room, I have no doubt you have earned your money....whatever it may be. But please, don't drive off in a fancy car, go on ski trips with your family, get a weekly massage and then complain you don't make "enough" so you have to sell vitamins. Take it up with the hospital. Ask for a raise. Threaten to leave if you have to, but don't stoop to the level of cashing in on a trend.
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
February 26, 2008 1:31pm
First, to update on my last post: I tried talking things out with some friends, but I'm not sure it got me anywhere. Honestly, I think I just need to accept people as they are and not expect them to act a certain way. I know that I have always had a problem with this. I don't mean that I expect *things* from people. I don't expect gifts or money or anything material like that. What I do expect (and want) is time. If you are my friend, I want your time.
I feel selfish even saying that, but isn't that what a friendship is? You give your time to someone you care about. I need to stop expecting anything, though. I have to accept that the way I treat people may not be the way others see fit to treat people.
Worked overnights this past weekend in the ER. My days and nights are all mixed up.
Trying to get some studying done, but I am low on motivation. I just want to go home!!!
I feel selfish even saying that, but isn't that what a friendship is? You give your time to someone you care about. I need to stop expecting anything, though. I have to accept that the way I treat people may not be the way others see fit to treat people.
Worked overnights this past weekend in the ER. My days and nights are all mixed up.
Trying to get some studying done, but I am low on motivation. I just want to go home!!!
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
February 20, 2007 9:15pm
Tonight is not a good night.
I'm heading down that slippery slope (no, not chopsticks) of feeling anxious, depressed, worthless, frustrated.....
further and further
The pissy part is that I don't actually have something I can pinpoint as what is causing it.
Other than f-d up brain chemistry and bad genes.
And why is it that when I reach out to friends and family for a little time and support, I get ignored? Ignored as in phone calls not returned or "gee, I'd love to talk but I'm really busy. We'll catch up in a few weeks."
Then when it spirals out of control and I'm in that really dark place again I have to crawl out myself.
When I finally do, all those people who I tried to reach out to eons before are saying, "Awww, why didn't you call me or talk to me about it?"
Fuck Em!
I'm heading down that slippery slope (no, not chopsticks) of feeling anxious, depressed, worthless, frustrated.....
further and further
The pissy part is that I don't actually have something I can pinpoint as what is causing it.
Other than f-d up brain chemistry and bad genes.
And why is it that when I reach out to friends and family for a little time and support, I get ignored? Ignored as in phone calls not returned or "gee, I'd love to talk but I'm really busy. We'll catch up in a few weeks."
Then when it spirals out of control and I'm in that really dark place again I have to crawl out myself.
When I finally do, all those people who I tried to reach out to eons before are saying, "Awww, why didn't you call me or talk to me about it?"
Fuck Em!
Friday, February 08, 2008
February 8, 2008 6:57pm
Beej did this so I thought I'd jump on the bandwagon too.
1) Answer the questions below
2) Take each answer and type it into Photobucket (www.photobucket.com)
3) Take any picture from the first page of results and post.
1. The age you'll be on your next birthday:
2. A place you'd like to travel:
3. Your favorite plac
e:
4. Your favorite object:
5. Your favorite food:
6. Your favorite animal:
7. Your favorite color:
8. The town in which you were born:
9. The town in which you live:
10. The name of your pet Don't have one unless you count...
11. Your name:
12. Your mid
dle name:
13. Your last name:
14. A bad habit of yours:
15. Your first job:
16. Your current car:
17. Favorite sport:
18. Favorite kind of music no one favorite
19. Your crush:
1) Answer the questions below
2) Take each answer and type it into Photobucket (www.photobucket.com)
3) Take any picture from the first page of results and post.
1. The age you'll be on your next birthday:
2. A place you'd like to travel:
3. Your favorite plac
e:4. Your favorite object:
5. Your favorite food:
6. Your favorite animal:
7. Your favorite color:
8. The town in which you were born:
9. The town in which you live:
10. The name of your pet Don't have one unless you count...
11. Your name:
12. Your mid
dle name:13. Your last name:
14. A bad habit of yours:
15. Your first job:
16. Your current car:
17. Favorite sport:
18. Favorite kind of music no one favorite
19. Your crush:
Wednesday, February 06, 2008
February 6, 2008 6:53pm
I'm low on motivation these days.
It's just so much more fun to let the hours slip by while I watch QVC.
Last few days of my ObGyn rotation. Not that there was any doubt in my mind before, but I am 110% sure I do not ever, ever, ever want to be an ObGyn. God bless those who do, though. And there's a midwife in this doc's office who I think has a special place set aside for her in Heaven because she will even go over to OB and just "hang out" to help if needed since they are sorely understaffed.
Next week I begin Emergency Medicine. Also not something I'm really keen on. I don't even like the tv show. Things move too fast. Doors swinging open and closed. I'm more of a House kind of girl. I like having a good 40 minutes to think through what I need to do.
I'm in the process of planning my 4th year rotations and thinking about residency after I graduate. We apply for that around September/October so it's coming up sooner than one might think. My biggest problem at the moment is getting all the paperwork to the correct people. It would be much easier if I just had to do it myself, but I am far from home (where I'm doing my 4th year) so I have to rely on email and phone. I get my part filled out and sent to the hospital in NJ, and then I have to rely on them to fax it to my school. This is where the system seems to break down and things get lost.
I'd be happier if the whole world worked with the same sense of urgency that I do. I'd also be happier if everyone checked their email at all hours of the day/night like I do....or that they at least responded to me within a week! Argh!
Onto the wedding front. I call it a "front" because I feel like it is a war. A war against all the people who feel the need to tell me what I just *have* to do. Other than show up, I haven't seen one thing that I absolutely *have* to do. I'm no less married if I don't have someone do my make-up, or if I don't do matchbooks, or if my cocktail napkins aren't monogrammed. I'm not giving anyone anything with my monogram on it. In fact, I'm actually considering getting my boobs imaged and then putting that on every available surface. When someone asks me about it I will say, "Oh, you said MONO-gram? I thought you were telling me to put my MAMMO-gram on everything. My bad!"
So the Save The Date magnets went out. I know a lot of people have gotten theirs because the number of people viewing our wedding web site went up dramatically. Roger also went and booked our mini honeymoon that we will be taking just after the wedding. We're going to Napa Valley to eat and drink our way through wine country! We'll be staying at a place called 1801 First and Roger arranged for us to have a private cottage. I am all about the evening couples massage with the bottle of champagne!
That will be the perfect way to start off our new life together after all the stress of taking 2 board exams this summer and then the wedding.
And speaking of board exams.... time to hit the books again.
It's just so much more fun to let the hours slip by while I watch QVC.
Last few days of my ObGyn rotation. Not that there was any doubt in my mind before, but I am 110% sure I do not ever, ever, ever want to be an ObGyn. God bless those who do, though. And there's a midwife in this doc's office who I think has a special place set aside for her in Heaven because she will even go over to OB and just "hang out" to help if needed since they are sorely understaffed.
Next week I begin Emergency Medicine. Also not something I'm really keen on. I don't even like the tv show. Things move too fast. Doors swinging open and closed. I'm more of a House kind of girl. I like having a good 40 minutes to think through what I need to do.
I'm in the process of planning my 4th year rotations and thinking about residency after I graduate. We apply for that around September/October so it's coming up sooner than one might think. My biggest problem at the moment is getting all the paperwork to the correct people. It would be much easier if I just had to do it myself, but I am far from home (where I'm doing my 4th year) so I have to rely on email and phone. I get my part filled out and sent to the hospital in NJ, and then I have to rely on them to fax it to my school. This is where the system seems to break down and things get lost.
I'd be happier if the whole world worked with the same sense of urgency that I do. I'd also be happier if everyone checked their email at all hours of the day/night like I do....or that they at least responded to me within a week! Argh!
Onto the wedding front. I call it a "front" because I feel like it is a war. A war against all the people who feel the need to tell me what I just *have* to do. Other than show up, I haven't seen one thing that I absolutely *have* to do. I'm no less married if I don't have someone do my make-up, or if I don't do matchbooks, or if my cocktail napkins aren't monogrammed. I'm not giving anyone anything with my monogram on it. In fact, I'm actually considering getting my boobs imaged and then putting that on every available surface. When someone asks me about it I will say, "Oh, you said MONO-gram? I thought you were telling me to put my MAMMO-gram on everything. My bad!"
So the Save The Date magnets went out. I know a lot of people have gotten theirs because the number of people viewing our wedding web site went up dramatically. Roger also went and booked our mini honeymoon that we will be taking just after the wedding. We're going to Napa Valley to eat and drink our way through wine country! We'll be staying at a place called 1801 First and Roger arranged for us to have a private cottage. I am all about the evening couples massage with the bottle of champagne!
That will be the perfect way to start off our new life together after all the stress of taking 2 board exams this summer and then the wedding.
And speaking of board exams.... time to hit the books again.
Friday, February 01, 2008
February 1, 2008 12:41am
Anxiety is a bitch.
I realized that the less I blog, the more I feel ill with anxiety. I think writing gives me a chance to put my thoughts down and consider what I'm really upset about.
At the moment, I am most worried/frustrated about school. I'm almost done with my OB rotation and I will be moving on to Surgery and Emergency Medicine. Both give me nightmares.
Sid I mention that on my first day of surgery in OB I went horizontal 25 minutes into a hysterectomy?
Well, I did.
Clearly, the operating room is not the place for me.
I hate things moving fast. I hate making quick decisions. I'm more into the kind of medicine where you can evaluate and research a bit before deciding what to do (nobody is about to die immediately). I'm also clumsy and have a wicket tremor. If I hold a mug of coffee, my hand shakes so bad that I often spill it on myself. I am a glass is half empty kind of gal out of necessity. I can't exactly hit a vein with any sort of proficiency, but it's really embarrassing explaining to people (even doctors and nurses) that I'm not just nervous, I have a medical condition that normally really old people have.
I've also been really anxious about money lately. This is probably because I don't currently have a job so I'm not making any money. Mom helps me out tremendously so I can have a roof over my head and eat and have books and toilet paper, but I feel guilty every single time I spend money that isn't really *mine*.
Tonight, the power went out around dinnertime. I called the power company and the very pleasant recording told me that it will be restored by 4am. I assumed this meant it was a major catastrophe and I needed supplies. I drove to Wal-Mart (which still had power) and bought lots of batteries, a battery powered lantern, apples, bananas, 3 cans of soup, some non-refrigerated snacks, and a piece of chocolate cake. The plan was to stock up on things that didn't need to go in the fridge and enjoy the night with my lantern and read. I got to the checkout and the whole thing came to about $70 (mostly because of the batteries and the lantern). On the drive home, I realized that power had been restored and there would be no evening of roughing it.
Guilt over the purchases immediately began.
Why is it that I can appear so calm and together, yet have this internal war going on?
food and I aren't getting along very well right now. My stomach churns as soon as I swallow a bite, and last night I had reflux so bad that I had to go to sleep sitting up.
Tonight isn't looking very promising right now either.
I realized that the less I blog, the more I feel ill with anxiety. I think writing gives me a chance to put my thoughts down and consider what I'm really upset about.
At the moment, I am most worried/frustrated about school. I'm almost done with my OB rotation and I will be moving on to Surgery and Emergency Medicine. Both give me nightmares.
Sid I mention that on my first day of surgery in OB I went horizontal 25 minutes into a hysterectomy?
Well, I did.
Clearly, the operating room is not the place for me.
I hate things moving fast. I hate making quick decisions. I'm more into the kind of medicine where you can evaluate and research a bit before deciding what to do (nobody is about to die immediately). I'm also clumsy and have a wicket tremor. If I hold a mug of coffee, my hand shakes so bad that I often spill it on myself. I am a glass is half empty kind of gal out of necessity. I can't exactly hit a vein with any sort of proficiency, but it's really embarrassing explaining to people (even doctors and nurses) that I'm not just nervous, I have a medical condition that normally really old people have.
I've also been really anxious about money lately. This is probably because I don't currently have a job so I'm not making any money. Mom helps me out tremendously so I can have a roof over my head and eat and have books and toilet paper, but I feel guilty every single time I spend money that isn't really *mine*.
Tonight, the power went out around dinnertime. I called the power company and the very pleasant recording told me that it will be restored by 4am. I assumed this meant it was a major catastrophe and I needed supplies. I drove to Wal-Mart (which still had power) and bought lots of batteries, a battery powered lantern, apples, bananas, 3 cans of soup, some non-refrigerated snacks, and a piece of chocolate cake. The plan was to stock up on things that didn't need to go in the fridge and enjoy the night with my lantern and read. I got to the checkout and the whole thing came to about $70 (mostly because of the batteries and the lantern). On the drive home, I realized that power had been restored and there would be no evening of roughing it.
Guilt over the purchases immediately began.
Why is it that I can appear so calm and together, yet have this internal war going on?
food and I aren't getting along very well right now. My stomach churns as soon as I swallow a bite, and last night I had reflux so bad that I had to go to sleep sitting up.
Tonight isn't looking very promising right now either.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
January 22, 2008 6:58pm
So I've been thinking about how on top of this wedding planning stuff I seem to be.
I've got until October and I already have the church, reception, photographer, and DJ booked. I've also got a place for the rehersal dinner. Go me!
Right?
Apparently I'm wrong. I am terribly terribly wrong.
At least according to the entire wedding planning board and the obsessive wedding planning message boards I look at.
I don't have a dress. Not really thrilled about looking for one either, but that's just me. Well, these chicks have bought their dresses 12, 18, and sometimes 24 months in advance of the wedding. Oh but it doesn't stop there....they also obsess over their shoes. They buy sometimes 3 different pairs (12 months in advance) and obsess over which ones to wear. It goes beyond that to hair accessories, jewelry, make-up (multiple and i do mean MULTIPLE make-up "trials" a year or more before the wedding), hair styles, etc.
I don't know about the rest of you, but my sister taught me how to put on make-up. I think I'll do just fine on my own with that.
I also don't purchase little decorative accents 9 months ahead and arrange and rearrange "sample tables" so I know exactly what the gift table will look like at the wedding.
It will be in October so I was thinking something fall-ish. See, now I know what it will look like. A table with a white tablecloth, gifts on it, and a pumpkin.
The types of things I *would* be worried about are my guests getting enough to eat and drink, the bathrooms being clean and if the food stays warm by the time it gets to everyone.
But I don't *need* to worry about these things because I booked a very reputable reception location with a great staff and very good quality food (and clean bathrooms).
Yes, I want to enjoy my wedding but more importantly I want to enjoy my marriage. I want to have a beautiful wedding and get to visit with friends and family who I don't see very often.
The gift that I really, really, really want? More than anything in the world? Lots and lots of hugs. Hugs galore. And smiles. I want to see smiles everywhere.
So maybe there is something wrong with me for planning all of this in a shorter amount of time than the others. Maybe I am cutting it too close and will be stressed and unhappy the day before the wedding because I don't have a wand for the flower girl that exactly matches the clip in the bridesmaids' hair. Maybe I'll be frantically searching for a "something blue" (another one of those wedding things I have no interest in) and then asking the anonymous public on message boards for their opinion on if it's blue enough. Maybe I'll be out on a midnight run for a tussy mussy.
And this is where my rage peaks... What in the name of fucking Vera Wang is a fucking tussy mussy and why are you using one (much less searching for the perfect one) if you are over the age of 4?!! New from Playskool! Introducing the Vewy Vewy Special Tussy Mussy! Your child will have hours of fun! Play, laugh, grow!
To be honest, I don't especially mind the little details. It's just that when I come home from the hospital for the evening I just can't get myself all worked up about someone's "crisis" over which font to have their monogram in for the matchbooks.
I've got until October and I already have the church, reception, photographer, and DJ booked. I've also got a place for the rehersal dinner. Go me!
Right?
Apparently I'm wrong. I am terribly terribly wrong.
At least according to the entire wedding planning board and the obsessive wedding planning message boards I look at.
I don't have a dress. Not really thrilled about looking for one either, but that's just me. Well, these chicks have bought their dresses 12, 18, and sometimes 24 months in advance of the wedding. Oh but it doesn't stop there....they also obsess over their shoes. They buy sometimes 3 different pairs (12 months in advance) and obsess over which ones to wear. It goes beyond that to hair accessories, jewelry, make-up (multiple and i do mean MULTIPLE make-up "trials" a year or more before the wedding), hair styles, etc.
I don't know about the rest of you, but my sister taught me how to put on make-up. I think I'll do just fine on my own with that.
I also don't purchase little decorative accents 9 months ahead and arrange and rearrange "sample tables" so I know exactly what the gift table will look like at the wedding.
It will be in October so I was thinking something fall-ish. See, now I know what it will look like. A table with a white tablecloth, gifts on it, and a pumpkin.
The types of things I *would* be worried about are my guests getting enough to eat and drink, the bathrooms being clean and if the food stays warm by the time it gets to everyone.
But I don't *need* to worry about these things because I booked a very reputable reception location with a great staff and very good quality food (and clean bathrooms).
Yes, I want to enjoy my wedding but more importantly I want to enjoy my marriage. I want to have a beautiful wedding and get to visit with friends and family who I don't see very often.
The gift that I really, really, really want? More than anything in the world? Lots and lots of hugs. Hugs galore. And smiles. I want to see smiles everywhere.
So maybe there is something wrong with me for planning all of this in a shorter amount of time than the others. Maybe I am cutting it too close and will be stressed and unhappy the day before the wedding because I don't have a wand for the flower girl that exactly matches the clip in the bridesmaids' hair. Maybe I'll be frantically searching for a "something blue" (another one of those wedding things I have no interest in) and then asking the anonymous public on message boards for their opinion on if it's blue enough. Maybe I'll be out on a midnight run for a tussy mussy.
And this is where my rage peaks... What in the name of fucking Vera Wang is a fucking tussy mussy and why are you using one (much less searching for the perfect one) if you are over the age of 4?!! New from Playskool! Introducing the Vewy Vewy Special Tussy Mussy! Your child will have hours of fun! Play, laugh, grow!
To be honest, I don't especially mind the little details. It's just that when I come home from the hospital for the evening I just can't get myself all worked up about someone's "crisis" over which font to have their monogram in for the matchbooks.
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
January 15, 2008 5:45pm
Now that I'm back in WV and settled, I can fill you in on all the happenings!
First, I went home for 4 weeks. Christmas was wonderful. Roger and I decorated my house. It was lots of fun doing up a big Christmas celebration with him.
We left for Washington D.C. the day after Christmas. We went down just to do the touristy thing (as well as get our patriotic groove on and see all the monuments, memorials, documents, museums, and other buildings of note).
Oh yeah, and there was a surprise too...
Wowie zowie!
So the days after getting back home to NJ was a whirlwind of wedding planning to get as much done as we could before I went back down to WV.
And we even made a website.
Now I'm on my ObGyn rotation (Shoe covers. That's all I have to say about that.). I'll be home for good on May 10, 2008 and I am counting the days, minutes, seconds.
I hope all is well in your worlds. :-)
First, I went home for 4 weeks. Christmas was wonderful. Roger and I decorated my house. It was lots of fun doing up a big Christmas celebration with him.
We left for Washington D.C. the day after Christmas. We went down just to do the touristy thing (as well as get our patriotic groove on and see all the monuments, memorials, documents, museums, and other buildings of note).
Oh yeah, and there was a surprise too...
Wowie zowie!
So the days after getting back home to NJ was a whirlwind of wedding planning to get as much done as we could before I went back down to WV.
And we even made a website.
Now I'm on my ObGyn rotation (Shoe covers. That's all I have to say about that.). I'll be home for good on May 10, 2008 and I am counting the days, minutes, seconds.
I hope all is well in your worlds. :-)
Tuesday, January 08, 2008
January 8, 2008 9:55pm
Okeeee....
Don't be mad.....
I haven't posted in a long time......
And a lot has happened......
I'll post some pictures when I get time......
But for now......
All I can say is......
Don't ya think October would be a lovely month for a wedding?
Don't be mad.....
I haven't posted in a long time......
And a lot has happened......
I'll post some pictures when I get time......
But for now......
All I can say is......
Don't ya think October would be a lovely month for a wedding?
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
December 12, 2007 6:35pm
So Ryan went and made a liar out of me.
As of right now, he's still critical but hanging in. They're trying a few new things with him.
He isn't well. I'm not sure he ever will be, but he's better than he was.
I will see him when I go home.
On a lighter note, yes, I AM GOING HOME!!!!
Friday, to be exact. I'm mostly packed now except for actually zipping up the suitcases. And yes, I did say "suitcases" plural. How else could I pack for an entire month? My underwear alone takes up one whole weekend-size bag. The shoes alone require their own large duffel!
but I'm sad to be leaving this rotation that I have enjoyed so much. Psychiatry has been so fascinating to me, I am really torn on where I want to go with my life now.
But one thing I am not torn on.....that I want Roger to be a part of it for-ev-er.
giggle snort
As of right now, he's still critical but hanging in. They're trying a few new things with him.
He isn't well. I'm not sure he ever will be, but he's better than he was.
I will see him when I go home.
On a lighter note, yes, I AM GOING HOME!!!!
Friday, to be exact. I'm mostly packed now except for actually zipping up the suitcases. And yes, I did say "suitcases" plural. How else could I pack for an entire month? My underwear alone takes up one whole weekend-size bag. The shoes alone require their own large duffel!
but I'm sad to be leaving this rotation that I have enjoyed so much. Psychiatry has been so fascinating to me, I am really torn on where I want to go with my life now.
But one thing I am not torn on.....that I want Roger to be a part of it for-ev-er.
giggle snort
Monday, December 03, 2007
December 3, 2007 7:46pm
I am love, love, loving my psychiatry rotation! There are two docs who are fighting over which one gets to have me for the next two weeks. Yay! I feel special!
I'm learning a lot. I'm fascinated by my patients.
And I even get to meet famous people from time to time. Well, at least people who believe they are famous people.
The only part I don't like is that I wish that truly crazy people (like those who think they are someone they are not, or those who like to walk around naked and urinate on the floor) were stupid. It seems that despite their very abnormal thought processes, they are of normal if not above average intelligence.
It would be less tragic if they had zero potential outside of the institution. College students, law students, nurses, teachers, and even doctors have made it into our hallowed halls. Some will recover and go back to their normal lives, but many won't. Many never had a *normal* life because they are so disabled by their problems.
On a happier note...
Roger and I decided to hold a New Year's Eve party. Just a gathering of friends at my place. Lots of good food, plenty of wine, good conversation. It will be fun! spend the night if you wish! The festivities begin at 8:00pm. Naked Twister should start around 8:15.
I'm learning a lot. I'm fascinated by my patients.
And I even get to meet famous people from time to time. Well, at least people who believe they are famous people.
The only part I don't like is that I wish that truly crazy people (like those who think they are someone they are not, or those who like to walk around naked and urinate on the floor) were stupid. It seems that despite their very abnormal thought processes, they are of normal if not above average intelligence.
It would be less tragic if they had zero potential outside of the institution. College students, law students, nurses, teachers, and even doctors have made it into our hallowed halls. Some will recover and go back to their normal lives, but many won't. Many never had a *normal* life because they are so disabled by their problems.
On a happier note...
Roger and I decided to hold a New Year's Eve party. Just a gathering of friends at my place. Lots of good food, plenty of wine, good conversation. It will be fun! spend the night if you wish! The festivities begin at 8:00pm. Naked Twister should start around 8:15.
Sunday, December 02, 2007
December 2, 2007 3:15pm
Christmas is quickly approaching. This is my absolute favorite time of year. I love shopping for gifts, planning menus, decorating, etc.
My mother, on the other hand, finds it all to be a chore. That is why she wrote her own Christmas carol, sun to the tune of O Tannenbaum:
O Christmas tree
O Christmas tree
Why do you always shit on me?
The balls all fall, the lights don't work
You make me feel
Just like a jerk
O Christmas tree
O Christmas tree
Why do you always shit on me?
Festive, ain't it?
I recently posted about my strange family and their reaction to my Christmas Eve celebration last year. Well, I'm a glutton for punishment so I'm doing it again this year. I have everyone's little gift prepared now. I have a menu prepared and ran it past mom (who always loves anything I make) and emailed it to my aunt, though she hasn't written me back yet with any comments/complaints. Not that I'd listen anyway.
Our Christmas Eve dinner is meatless. There are multiple courses and I am determined to slow it down this year so it isn't so rushed this year. Humans are not meant to eat that that speed. If we're going to do it quickly, might as well throw everything into one big dog bowl and even skip the utensils.
1st course: Picked herring and rye bread (an acquired taste, i know, but it's a tradition)
2nd: Saurkraut soup with mushrooms
3rd: Egg noodles with dried fruit compote
4th: ginger-poached salmon with endive and swordfish steaks with caper butter (mom already made the comment of "just two choices"- yes because I'm not a fucking short order cook!)
potato-cheese pierogis
peas with tomato sauce
green beans with parsley and pine nuts
5th: profiteroles with ice cream and choice of chocolate or raspberry sauce
Christmas Day will be a smaller crowd, but I'm making:
Prime rib with horseradish crust
Scalloped potatoes with Asiago cheese
Roasted Cauliflower with capers
Red lettuce salad with champagne vinegarette
coconut-sweet potato cheesecake for dessert (yes, just one choice...don't like it, don't eat it).
I'm excited about doing all of this, but am dreading the comments.
Last year I made a rack of lamb for Christmas. It looked absolutely perfect and tasted even better. Of course, I had to hear things like, "Oh, you like that kind of thing?" and "since when do we eat lamb in this family?" and my favorite, "I think I should've run to McDonalds before coming here."
Because I'm a masochist, I also decided to have everyone over for New Year's Day. for that gathering, I'm planning to make:
Roasted asparagus with parmesan, proscuitto and poached eggs
Orzo salad
Apple tart
and a gigantic thermos of hot buttered rum because I'm going to need something to keep from becoming homicidal after 3 days of various unnecessary comments.
I'm really liking the idea I had months ago to just crush xanax into everyone's food.
I hear that there's a hell of a snowstorm in NJ. We just have rain down here in WV, though. I wish it would snow. I love snow. I love sitting inside with hot chocolate and reading a good book. Or even better, sitting on the porch on my swing with a huge blanket, watching the snow.
Sigh.
My mother, on the other hand, finds it all to be a chore. That is why she wrote her own Christmas carol, sun to the tune of O Tannenbaum:
O Christmas tree
O Christmas tree
Why do you always shit on me?
The balls all fall, the lights don't work
You make me feel
Just like a jerk
O Christmas tree
O Christmas tree
Why do you always shit on me?
Festive, ain't it?
I recently posted about my strange family and their reaction to my Christmas Eve celebration last year. Well, I'm a glutton for punishment so I'm doing it again this year. I have everyone's little gift prepared now. I have a menu prepared and ran it past mom (who always loves anything I make) and emailed it to my aunt, though she hasn't written me back yet with any comments/complaints. Not that I'd listen anyway.
Our Christmas Eve dinner is meatless. There are multiple courses and I am determined to slow it down this year so it isn't so rushed this year. Humans are not meant to eat that that speed. If we're going to do it quickly, might as well throw everything into one big dog bowl and even skip the utensils.
1st course: Picked herring and rye bread (an acquired taste, i know, but it's a tradition)
2nd: Saurkraut soup with mushrooms
3rd: Egg noodles with dried fruit compote
4th: ginger-poached salmon with endive and swordfish steaks with caper butter (mom already made the comment of "just two choices"- yes because I'm not a fucking short order cook!)
potato-cheese pierogis
peas with tomato sauce
green beans with parsley and pine nuts
5th: profiteroles with ice cream and choice of chocolate or raspberry sauce
Christmas Day will be a smaller crowd, but I'm making:
Prime rib with horseradish crust
Scalloped potatoes with Asiago cheese
Roasted Cauliflower with capers
Red lettuce salad with champagne vinegarette
coconut-sweet potato cheesecake for dessert (yes, just one choice...don't like it, don't eat it).
I'm excited about doing all of this, but am dreading the comments.
Last year I made a rack of lamb for Christmas. It looked absolutely perfect and tasted even better. Of course, I had to hear things like, "Oh, you like that kind of thing?" and "since when do we eat lamb in this family?" and my favorite, "I think I should've run to McDonalds before coming here."
Because I'm a masochist, I also decided to have everyone over for New Year's Day. for that gathering, I'm planning to make:
Roasted asparagus with parmesan, proscuitto and poached eggs
Orzo salad
Apple tart
and a gigantic thermos of hot buttered rum because I'm going to need something to keep from becoming homicidal after 3 days of various unnecessary comments.
I'm really liking the idea I had months ago to just crush xanax into everyone's food.
I hear that there's a hell of a snowstorm in NJ. We just have rain down here in WV, though. I wish it would snow. I love snow. I love sitting inside with hot chocolate and reading a good book. Or even better, sitting on the porch on my swing with a huge blanket, watching the snow.
Sigh.
Sunday, November 25, 2007
November 25, 2007 7:15pm
Back in WV :-(
But now, for what you have all been waiting for....
My Big Fat Thanksgiving Dinner 2007 Edition!!
Arrived at my uncle Ray's house around noon. Unlike most dysfunctional family gatherings on Thanksgiving, there is no blaring television here. There is no football to distract us from our bitterness. No children to direct our aggression at. Worst of all, there are no pets to take for a walk when one just *must* escape.
Basically, once you walk in the door, you're trapped. It's just you, the low-carb cheese tray, and the family.
This year's cast of characters included a friend of my uncle's named Rich, who has been unemployed for as long as I've known him, does not drive, has no television, and is extremely eccentric (cough: crazy). Ray's wife invited her cousin, Barbara, who lives alone, has no visible source of income and is prone to moments of extreme emotion directed at people or events with which she has no personal connection.
There was also my aunt Joanne and uncle Marty, my mom, and me.
Marty was on Jamesons on ice #2 by the time we arrived. Joanne was engrossed in a dramatic telling of the tragedy of the denim skirt she tried to sew in high school, bu was too fearful to make the first stitch. This went on for nearly 30 minutes. The anxiety she had. What would have happened if she did something wrong? The feeling of failure for never having finished the skirt.
I remarked that it sounded like she was suffering from PTSD- Post Traumatic Sewing Disorder.
nobody laughed
Except my mom, who nearly spewed her Ginger Ale.
After the skirt story, it was just about time for dinner/lunch/breakfast. We sit down at the table (after the yearly discussion of where should everyone sit...only for us to sit in the EXACT SAME PLACES we have all sat for the last 15 years). Marty and Rich get into a heated discussion about 9/11 and the firefighters/policemen not wearing proper respiratory protection and how Marty worked oh so hard for 30 days with no days off with the EPA. And now the EPA is being blamed for their respiratory problems blah blah blah fucking blah.
I kept trying to change the subject. After all, the mashed potatoes hadn't even been put on the table yet! For Chrissakes! Save the conspiracy theories for the pumpkin pie!
Jamesons #3 also helped this along.
Poor Ray didn't speak at all through dinner. Every second of the conversation was either absurd, surreal, or angry.
Here are some of the topics we covered:
- the 2008 election and our mutual dislike of Hilary (a rare moment of agreement)
- the 2008 election and my family's dislike of Guiliani, while my mom and I say he's the only one who can beat Hilary and everyone else refusing to admit that and, thusly, getting upset with my mom and I
- Anger over one's father abandoning them when they were 5.....45 years ago.
-why all people with mental illness (of any kind) should be locked up in an "asylum". This happened because I mentioned I was on my psych rotation. I seriously wanted to pull out my Prozac bottle at that point and ask if that meant I should go find the nearest "asylum".
-why it isn't polite to call people with down's syndrome "Mongoloid" and why they should or should not be locked up in the aforementioned "asylum".
-"colored people" and their negative effect on the world
-joanne and marty's recent trip to a fancy shmancy restaurant and their very poor review of it- everything they hated about it made it sound more and more appealing to me. seasonal menu, great wine list, "tiny portions" ie really great quality food in normal human serving sizes, but not big enough for the fat asses of my family who prefer the biggie size value meal size dinners.
I think I'm going to try to talk more at christmas eve dinner. This might keep the conversation on a better track.
Poor ray didn't even speak at all until everyone except my mom and I left. Then he talked to us for about an hour. That was a nice, normal visit.
On a sad note, my great uncle Stanley's dog, Duke, died. He wasn't eating for a few days, so my mom took him to the vet yesterday. He was breathing fast and the vet hospital ran some tests. They found lots of fluid in his abdomen and they suspected cancer. I'm not a big advocate of putting these animals through all sorts of wild surgeries and chemo treatments only to extend their life by a month or two. $1500 just for the "tests" was enough to convince us it was time to let him go. Stanley is okay with it (Stan is 80 and has a home health aid because he is quite elderly), but now he wants another dog. Mom's mission now is to find him another golden retriever...preferably one who likes to watch Hockey and Football and doesn't expect too much activity. Duke seemed to fit that role perfectly.
I'm back down in WV and another week of fun starts tomorrow!
But now, for what you have all been waiting for....
My Big Fat Thanksgiving Dinner 2007 Edition!!
Arrived at my uncle Ray's house around noon. Unlike most dysfunctional family gatherings on Thanksgiving, there is no blaring television here. There is no football to distract us from our bitterness. No children to direct our aggression at. Worst of all, there are no pets to take for a walk when one just *must* escape.
Basically, once you walk in the door, you're trapped. It's just you, the low-carb cheese tray, and the family.
This year's cast of characters included a friend of my uncle's named Rich, who has been unemployed for as long as I've known him, does not drive, has no television, and is extremely eccentric (cough: crazy). Ray's wife invited her cousin, Barbara, who lives alone, has no visible source of income and is prone to moments of extreme emotion directed at people or events with which she has no personal connection.
There was also my aunt Joanne and uncle Marty, my mom, and me.
Marty was on Jamesons on ice #2 by the time we arrived. Joanne was engrossed in a dramatic telling of the tragedy of the denim skirt she tried to sew in high school, bu was too fearful to make the first stitch. This went on for nearly 30 minutes. The anxiety she had. What would have happened if she did something wrong? The feeling of failure for never having finished the skirt.
I remarked that it sounded like she was suffering from PTSD- Post Traumatic Sewing Disorder.
nobody laughed
Except my mom, who nearly spewed her Ginger Ale.
After the skirt story, it was just about time for dinner/lunch/breakfast. We sit down at the table (after the yearly discussion of where should everyone sit...only for us to sit in the EXACT SAME PLACES we have all sat for the last 15 years). Marty and Rich get into a heated discussion about 9/11 and the firefighters/policemen not wearing proper respiratory protection and how Marty worked oh so hard for 30 days with no days off with the EPA. And now the EPA is being blamed for their respiratory problems blah blah blah fucking blah.
I kept trying to change the subject. After all, the mashed potatoes hadn't even been put on the table yet! For Chrissakes! Save the conspiracy theories for the pumpkin pie!
Jamesons #3 also helped this along.
Poor Ray didn't speak at all through dinner. Every second of the conversation was either absurd, surreal, or angry.
Here are some of the topics we covered:
- the 2008 election and our mutual dislike of Hilary (a rare moment of agreement)
- the 2008 election and my family's dislike of Guiliani, while my mom and I say he's the only one who can beat Hilary and everyone else refusing to admit that and, thusly, getting upset with my mom and I
- Anger over one's father abandoning them when they were 5.....45 years ago.
-why all people with mental illness (of any kind) should be locked up in an "asylum". This happened because I mentioned I was on my psych rotation. I seriously wanted to pull out my Prozac bottle at that point and ask if that meant I should go find the nearest "asylum".
-why it isn't polite to call people with down's syndrome "Mongoloid" and why they should or should not be locked up in the aforementioned "asylum".
-"colored people" and their negative effect on the world
-joanne and marty's recent trip to a fancy shmancy restaurant and their very poor review of it- everything they hated about it made it sound more and more appealing to me. seasonal menu, great wine list, "tiny portions" ie really great quality food in normal human serving sizes, but not big enough for the fat asses of my family who prefer the biggie size value meal size dinners.
I think I'm going to try to talk more at christmas eve dinner. This might keep the conversation on a better track.
Poor ray didn't even speak at all until everyone except my mom and I left. Then he talked to us for about an hour. That was a nice, normal visit.
On a sad note, my great uncle Stanley's dog, Duke, died. He wasn't eating for a few days, so my mom took him to the vet yesterday. He was breathing fast and the vet hospital ran some tests. They found lots of fluid in his abdomen and they suspected cancer. I'm not a big advocate of putting these animals through all sorts of wild surgeries and chemo treatments only to extend their life by a month or two. $1500 just for the "tests" was enough to convince us it was time to let him go. Stanley is okay with it (Stan is 80 and has a home health aid because he is quite elderly), but now he wants another dog. Mom's mission now is to find him another golden retriever...preferably one who likes to watch Hockey and Football and doesn't expect too much activity. Duke seemed to fit that role perfectly.
I'm back down in WV and another week of fun starts tomorrow!
Thursday, November 22, 2007
Thursday November 22, 2007 10:29am
Got in from Buckhannon about 6:00pm last night.
Despite having already suffered through the flu and mono, someone has decided to bless me with a cold.
Snotfest!
Did you know that if you unknowingly swallow enough mucus, you stomach will reject it and make you want to vomit?
Did you also know that if you are on a diet and eat really well for a long time, and then eat a massive portion of Japanese food and assorted sushi rolls, you stomach will save you from spoiling the diet by just sending it all right on through without being fully digested?
Yay for explosive diarrhea!
On that note, it's Thanksgiving!
Roger just left to go back up to his parents' place. I am dressed and ready to go to my uncle's house in a bit.
As many of you recall, it is time for the fabulous Big Fat Thanksgiving Dinner!
Over the years, my family has shrunk. Surprisingly enough, it is not due to divorce or family feuds, but the old ones just keep dying off. It's the natural process of things, so I don't mind too terribly much.
That being said, our gathering this year will be approximately 8 or maybe 9 people.
My uncle invited Roger to come, but Roger is going up to his own family's dinner. Besides, I'd rather invite Roger to that part of my family for Christmas when it's at my house and under my control. (and yes, I fully admit that I am a control freak)
I will pay close attention to the events of today and will give you my full report when I return...complete with humorous inserts.
Happy Thanksgiving Friends!
Despite having already suffered through the flu and mono, someone has decided to bless me with a cold.
Snotfest!
Did you know that if you unknowingly swallow enough mucus, you stomach will reject it and make you want to vomit?
Did you also know that if you are on a diet and eat really well for a long time, and then eat a massive portion of Japanese food and assorted sushi rolls, you stomach will save you from spoiling the diet by just sending it all right on through without being fully digested?
Yay for explosive diarrhea!
On that note, it's Thanksgiving!
Roger just left to go back up to his parents' place. I am dressed and ready to go to my uncle's house in a bit.
As many of you recall, it is time for the fabulous Big Fat Thanksgiving Dinner!
Over the years, my family has shrunk. Surprisingly enough, it is not due to divorce or family feuds, but the old ones just keep dying off. It's the natural process of things, so I don't mind too terribly much.
That being said, our gathering this year will be approximately 8 or maybe 9 people.
My uncle invited Roger to come, but Roger is going up to his own family's dinner. Besides, I'd rather invite Roger to that part of my family for Christmas when it's at my house and under my control. (and yes, I fully admit that I am a control freak)
I will pay close attention to the events of today and will give you my full report when I return...complete with humorous inserts.
Happy Thanksgiving Friends!
Friday, November 16, 2007
November 16, 2007 5:06pm
Comfort bliss.
that's where I am right now.
Let me explain...
It doesn't take much to make me happy. A day off here and there is a good start. Some comfortable clothes, warm socks, a fluffy bed, and QVC is really all I need to be absolutely happy.
And today I have that. all of it.
I had today off, which meant I got to sleep in late and on clean sheets. Sigh. Simple pleasures.
And after a lovely day of cooking and baking, I am now relaxing in bed with my cookbooks, the internet, my bed, and, of course, my beloved QVC.
Some visuals for you....
Beef vegetable soup in the crock pot (I swear it smells a lot better than it looks right here)
A coconut-sweet potato cheesecake cooling in the fridge. Come over any time for dinner! And if anyone knows how to keep cheesecakes from cracking in the middle, please let me know.
My super fluffy warm bed with the extra pillows and blankets.
Of course, the socks.
Told ya I was happy!
that's where I am right now.
Let me explain...
It doesn't take much to make me happy. A day off here and there is a good start. Some comfortable clothes, warm socks, a fluffy bed, and QVC is really all I need to be absolutely happy.
And today I have that. all of it.
I had today off, which meant I got to sleep in late and on clean sheets. Sigh. Simple pleasures.
And after a lovely day of cooking and baking, I am now relaxing in bed with my cookbooks, the internet, my bed, and, of course, my beloved QVC.
Some visuals for you....
Beef vegetable soup in the crock pot (I swear it smells a lot better than it looks right here)
A coconut-sweet potato cheesecake cooling in the fridge. Come over any time for dinner! And if anyone knows how to keep cheesecakes from cracking in the middle, please let me know.
My super fluffy warm bed with the extra pillows and blankets.
Of course, the socks.
Told ya I was happy!
Thursday, November 15, 2007
November 15, 2007 10:10pm
So I'm sitting on my couch now, on the phone with Roger, watching the Democratic Debate on CNN.
I didn't start blogging until now because it has taken me a bit of time to glue the pieces of my head together after I had to slam it up against the wall. I also had some blood shooting out of my eyes in anger.
Some favorite moments...
Obama saying that we need to close Gitmo. And just leaves it at all. Um. Okay. And then do what? In his next breath, he said that we need to open schools in the middle east that don't teach hate, but instead teach math and science. As Roger pointed out, we couldn't stop a school in NYC from teaching Islamic fundamentalism, not to mention the fact that we have enough trouble with our own schools in this country...how are we going to open schools in the middle east and control what they teach?
I know! We'll take the people out of gitmo and have them teach at the new schools! Roger called it Gitmo U!
I also really liked the UNLV student who has the chance of a lifetime to ask a US Senator running for president one question. Just one question. What does this college student ask? "Senator Clinton, do you prefer diamonds or pearls?"
I want this bimbo's voter registration card revoked. Stupid people should not be allowed to make decisions like who becomes the next president.
The words "Universal" and "Healthcare" put together in the same sentence, when not followed by "is really really bad" make me nauseous.
Joe Biden said that if he is president, his Supreme Court nominee "would be" a woman. Really? Not the most qualified individual you can find? Not the person who would be best in the position? A woman. that's the big requirement? What if there's a man who is more qualified. You will sacrifice a position on the supreme court to someone who is less qualified just to have a vagina on the bench?
Wonderful.
And let's stop with the absurdity of calling illegals "undocumented workers". That's like calling a used car a "previously enjoyed" car.
Oh geez, now my head is starting to ooze apart again. I will write more another time.
I didn't start blogging until now because it has taken me a bit of time to glue the pieces of my head together after I had to slam it up against the wall. I also had some blood shooting out of my eyes in anger.
Some favorite moments...
Obama saying that we need to close Gitmo. And just leaves it at all. Um. Okay. And then do what? In his next breath, he said that we need to open schools in the middle east that don't teach hate, but instead teach math and science. As Roger pointed out, we couldn't stop a school in NYC from teaching Islamic fundamentalism, not to mention the fact that we have enough trouble with our own schools in this country...how are we going to open schools in the middle east and control what they teach?
I know! We'll take the people out of gitmo and have them teach at the new schools! Roger called it Gitmo U!
I also really liked the UNLV student who has the chance of a lifetime to ask a US Senator running for president one question. Just one question. What does this college student ask? "Senator Clinton, do you prefer diamonds or pearls?"
I want this bimbo's voter registration card revoked. Stupid people should not be allowed to make decisions like who becomes the next president.
The words "Universal" and "Healthcare" put together in the same sentence, when not followed by "is really really bad" make me nauseous.
Joe Biden said that if he is president, his Supreme Court nominee "would be" a woman. Really? Not the most qualified individual you can find? Not the person who would be best in the position? A woman. that's the big requirement? What if there's a man who is more qualified. You will sacrifice a position on the supreme court to someone who is less qualified just to have a vagina on the bench?
Wonderful.
And let's stop with the absurdity of calling illegals "undocumented workers". That's like calling a used car a "previously enjoyed" car.
Oh geez, now my head is starting to ooze apart again. I will write more another time.
Friday, November 09, 2007
November 9, 2007 6:14pm
Sorry I have not been updating.
I have been ill.
Really nasty ill.
About 2 1/2 weeks ago (though it feels like a month at least) I started feeling a little more tired than usual. Friday night I left the office with a mild sore throat, but didn't think too much of it. Saturday morning, I woke up bright and early to go to the hospital and check on patients and I could swear someone had killed me during the night, buried me, and the dug me up without my knowing.
I...hurt...everywhere. My hair hurt. My fingernails hurt. My liver! My liver! I was shaking, but I was hot, then cold, then hot, then cold. My throat hurt like I had razor blades in it.
But being the dedicated medical student that I am, I got myself dressed and went to the hospital to meet the doc. I rounded on the patients and waited for him in the Dr's Lounge (which is actually slightly larger than a walk-in closet, has a desk, 2 chairs, and a window in it....oooh, livin the high life!). He sees me and says, "You don't look so good."
Well, I don't feel so good. I told him about my strange illness. He said it sounded like I was getting the flu, but the F-word is a dirty word around hospitals. Nobody wants to be the first hospital in the area to have documented cases of the flu. Fine with me. I'm happy to be in denial.
We saw a few patients and then went to the critical care unit. There, I almost passed out when examining a patient. I had to sit down and get my balance again. Doc saw I was fading fast, so he didn't ask much of me. I was mainly his scribe. I took notes on patients and wrote down what he said. Then, standing by the nurses' station, he began shooting the breeze about the good old days and I was about to puke. I got that prickly heat feeling you get in your forehead and face just before you start the Lamaze breathing to keep from puking.
Yeah. And I turned pasty white. Well, more pasty white than I normally am.
Without even asking for permission, I just turned around and said, "I need to leave. I'm very sick." I swear if I had any friends up here I would have called them to come get me from the hospital because I was very unsure of driving the 6 blocks home.
But I did.
and I got into bed.
And didn't think I would ever leave.
I also did what ever 26 year old woman with almost 3 years of medical training, 6 years of EMT experience, and who lives within earshot of a hospital would do.
I called my mom who lives 500 miles away and begged her to come down to take care of me. She was planning to come down on Monday when she was on her way to Louisville to visit a friend. Unfortunately, she was on call and could not come down until Monday. Then I called Roger, who felt horrible and wanted to help, but couldn't from so far away.
I shivered and sweated and ached for two days. On Monday, I called out sick from the office but asked if I could come in to be checked. My throat hurt and I was sure my ear was going to explode from the amount of pressure behind it. I dragged myself into doc's office in my pajamas. He looked at my tonsils and decided I had strep. Much to his surprise, my strep test was negative, but he gave me an antibiotic anyway. He told me to take as much time as I needed off and "don't be a hero. come back when you're really ready."
considering this is the same doc who had a problem with my boobage, he was being very caring and understanding. I found a new respect for him.
Monday was a wash. Tuesday was lost. Wednesday I slowly began to recover. By Thursday I came in for a half day of work.
Mom returned to my house from Louisville by Friday and I had a nice weekend with her.
And then I got sick again by Monday. Monday night I wanted to die. I called Roger at 4am to tell him my throat hurt so bad and I could hardly speak. I communicated mostly in grunts and I couldn't swallow..only drool and spit. He was so upset I think he was nearly crying on the phone. He felt completely helpless being so far away from me.
Gross.
Tuesday morning I met doc in the hospital and told him what was going on. He even enlisted the help of another doc on the foor and then he walked me down to the lab to get some blood work. He suspected Mono and gave me an Rx for some steroid (yay for Prednisone!) and told me to go home and rest.
Within an hour I was even sicker. I was dizzy from the pain in my throat and couldn't move my tongue at all. I got my drugs and headed home. Called Roger to tell him what I was doing. He told me he was leaving work soon and would be on his way down. He couldn't stand to hear me being so sick and all alone, so he was leaving work for the rest of the week and coming down to me.
Sigh. I loved him so much in that moment.
He got here Tuesday night and will be leaving on Sunday. I've been able to get back to the office for half days the past three days. Doc has been very understanding about me being so tired and in pain. The official diagnosis seems to be Mono of unknown viral cause. I wake up every morning about 4:30 in excruciating pain. Roger gets my pills for me and holds me until I fall asleep. He runs errands for me and takes excellent care of me. Waits on me hand and foot when I'm in bed resting. Gets me water, pills, M&M's or whatever else I may want.
I am very blessed.
And it seems that I am slowly recovering.
I don't ever want to be sick like this again, though.
I have been ill.
Really nasty ill.
About 2 1/2 weeks ago (though it feels like a month at least) I started feeling a little more tired than usual. Friday night I left the office with a mild sore throat, but didn't think too much of it. Saturday morning, I woke up bright and early to go to the hospital and check on patients and I could swear someone had killed me during the night, buried me, and the dug me up without my knowing.
I...hurt...everywhere. My hair hurt. My fingernails hurt. My liver! My liver! I was shaking, but I was hot, then cold, then hot, then cold. My throat hurt like I had razor blades in it.
But being the dedicated medical student that I am, I got myself dressed and went to the hospital to meet the doc. I rounded on the patients and waited for him in the Dr's Lounge (which is actually slightly larger than a walk-in closet, has a desk, 2 chairs, and a window in it....oooh, livin the high life!). He sees me and says, "You don't look so good."
Well, I don't feel so good. I told him about my strange illness. He said it sounded like I was getting the flu, but the F-word is a dirty word around hospitals. Nobody wants to be the first hospital in the area to have documented cases of the flu. Fine with me. I'm happy to be in denial.
We saw a few patients and then went to the critical care unit. There, I almost passed out when examining a patient. I had to sit down and get my balance again. Doc saw I was fading fast, so he didn't ask much of me. I was mainly his scribe. I took notes on patients and wrote down what he said. Then, standing by the nurses' station, he began shooting the breeze about the good old days and I was about to puke. I got that prickly heat feeling you get in your forehead and face just before you start the Lamaze breathing to keep from puking.
Yeah. And I turned pasty white. Well, more pasty white than I normally am.
Without even asking for permission, I just turned around and said, "I need to leave. I'm very sick." I swear if I had any friends up here I would have called them to come get me from the hospital because I was very unsure of driving the 6 blocks home.
But I did.
and I got into bed.
And didn't think I would ever leave.
I also did what ever 26 year old woman with almost 3 years of medical training, 6 years of EMT experience, and who lives within earshot of a hospital would do.
I called my mom who lives 500 miles away and begged her to come down to take care of me. She was planning to come down on Monday when she was on her way to Louisville to visit a friend. Unfortunately, she was on call and could not come down until Monday. Then I called Roger, who felt horrible and wanted to help, but couldn't from so far away.
I shivered and sweated and ached for two days. On Monday, I called out sick from the office but asked if I could come in to be checked. My throat hurt and I was sure my ear was going to explode from the amount of pressure behind it. I dragged myself into doc's office in my pajamas. He looked at my tonsils and decided I had strep. Much to his surprise, my strep test was negative, but he gave me an antibiotic anyway. He told me to take as much time as I needed off and "don't be a hero. come back when you're really ready."
considering this is the same doc who had a problem with my boobage, he was being very caring and understanding. I found a new respect for him.
Monday was a wash. Tuesday was lost. Wednesday I slowly began to recover. By Thursday I came in for a half day of work.
Mom returned to my house from Louisville by Friday and I had a nice weekend with her.
And then I got sick again by Monday. Monday night I wanted to die. I called Roger at 4am to tell him my throat hurt so bad and I could hardly speak. I communicated mostly in grunts and I couldn't swallow..only drool and spit. He was so upset I think he was nearly crying on the phone. He felt completely helpless being so far away from me.
Gross.
Tuesday morning I met doc in the hospital and told him what was going on. He even enlisted the help of another doc on the foor and then he walked me down to the lab to get some blood work. He suspected Mono and gave me an Rx for some steroid (yay for Prednisone!) and told me to go home and rest.
Within an hour I was even sicker. I was dizzy from the pain in my throat and couldn't move my tongue at all. I got my drugs and headed home. Called Roger to tell him what I was doing. He told me he was leaving work soon and would be on his way down. He couldn't stand to hear me being so sick and all alone, so he was leaving work for the rest of the week and coming down to me.
Sigh. I loved him so much in that moment.
He got here Tuesday night and will be leaving on Sunday. I've been able to get back to the office for half days the past three days. Doc has been very understanding about me being so tired and in pain. The official diagnosis seems to be Mono of unknown viral cause. I wake up every morning about 4:30 in excruciating pain. Roger gets my pills for me and holds me until I fall asleep. He runs errands for me and takes excellent care of me. Waits on me hand and foot when I'm in bed resting. Gets me water, pills, M&M's or whatever else I may want.
I am very blessed.
And it seems that I am slowly recovering.
I don't ever want to be sick like this again, though.
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
October 23, 2007 8:19pm
Here is what I have learned since starting my new Geriatrics rotation:
If you are a woman, do not under any circumstances even set foot in West Virginia. If you live in Maryland and need to drive to Ohio, pee in a bottle until you get there.
Do not stop in West Virginia!
There is something about the men here...they hate women.
I told you all about my last absurd preceptor who hates white people and women. Well, he's gone. I then had a lovely Peds rotation with a great doctor.
And now I have returned to Hell.
Let's call him Dr. Holy. We will call him this because I think he believes himself to be so. If you can get past the Christian soft-rock CD being played OVER AND OVER in his office, and the giant "Jesus Saves" posters at every single turn, it turns out he's really a total weirdo.
My first day- I wore black dress pans, black heels, and a blue v-neck shirt. I've worn this shirt on every other rotation I've had and never had any problems. 8am, I meet Dr. Holy in the hospital. Every time he speaks to me, he speaks to my chest. Weird. By 10am he says (and I quote) "Going forward, can you please wear something that doesn't show your cleavage. It's very distracting." WHO THE FUCK TALKS LIKE THAT? first of all, nobody else I've worn this shirt around has a problem with it. More importantly, you can't see any boob unless you're looking down my shirt from my angle!
Today, I wore a shirt with a scoop neck. What does he do? Spends the whole day talking to my chest again. What the hell is wrong with this man?
I'll tell ya what's wrong with him. Dr. Crazy was just, at his core, a self absorbed asshole. Dr. Holy, on the other hand...well...you spend so many years on the God Squad and some things start to get repressed. He doesn't have anything that couldn't be cured with his wife giving him a good blow job.
In the mean time, he has a boob obsession.
It goes beyond just my boobs.
He is the doc for the nursery at the hospital. So when a baby is born, he sometimes is the doc who examines the baby and talks to the mom, etc etc. Today he berated a mom for not breastfeeding. He stopped just short of telling her that she's a bad mother, but he did say that, "A really good mom who loves her baby would breastfeed her."
DUDE!!!!
He seems like the type of man who thinks women are just a tad beneath him. That women belong home with the children and their boobs and if you don't do that then there's something wrong with you.
Why does this shit keep happening to me?
I need to get home to NJ where people are less backwards!
On a happier note....
Roger is wonderful. Working hard, but that's what makes him wonderful.
I am blissfully in love.
I told my mom the other night that this is truly the first time I have wanted a marriage, and not just a wedding.
If you are a woman, do not under any circumstances even set foot in West Virginia. If you live in Maryland and need to drive to Ohio, pee in a bottle until you get there.
Do not stop in West Virginia!
There is something about the men here...they hate women.
I told you all about my last absurd preceptor who hates white people and women. Well, he's gone. I then had a lovely Peds rotation with a great doctor.
And now I have returned to Hell.
Let's call him Dr. Holy. We will call him this because I think he believes himself to be so. If you can get past the Christian soft-rock CD being played OVER AND OVER in his office, and the giant "Jesus Saves" posters at every single turn, it turns out he's really a total weirdo.
My first day- I wore black dress pans, black heels, and a blue v-neck shirt. I've worn this shirt on every other rotation I've had and never had any problems. 8am, I meet Dr. Holy in the hospital. Every time he speaks to me, he speaks to my chest. Weird. By 10am he says (and I quote) "Going forward, can you please wear something that doesn't show your cleavage. It's very distracting." WHO THE FUCK TALKS LIKE THAT? first of all, nobody else I've worn this shirt around has a problem with it. More importantly, you can't see any boob unless you're looking down my shirt from my angle!
Today, I wore a shirt with a scoop neck. What does he do? Spends the whole day talking to my chest again. What the hell is wrong with this man?
I'll tell ya what's wrong with him. Dr. Crazy was just, at his core, a self absorbed asshole. Dr. Holy, on the other hand...well...you spend so many years on the God Squad and some things start to get repressed. He doesn't have anything that couldn't be cured with his wife giving him a good blow job.
In the mean time, he has a boob obsession.
It goes beyond just my boobs.
He is the doc for the nursery at the hospital. So when a baby is born, he sometimes is the doc who examines the baby and talks to the mom, etc etc. Today he berated a mom for not breastfeeding. He stopped just short of telling her that she's a bad mother, but he did say that, "A really good mom who loves her baby would breastfeed her."
DUDE!!!!
He seems like the type of man who thinks women are just a tad beneath him. That women belong home with the children and their boobs and if you don't do that then there's something wrong with you.
Why does this shit keep happening to me?
I need to get home to NJ where people are less backwards!
On a happier note....
Roger is wonderful. Working hard, but that's what makes him wonderful.
I am blissfully in love.
I told my mom the other night that this is truly the first time I have wanted a marriage, and not just a wedding.
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