November 9, 2007 6:14pm

Sorry I have not been updating.

I have been ill.

Really nasty ill.

About 2 1/2 weeks ago (though it feels like a month at least) I started feeling a little more tired than usual. Friday night I left the office with a mild sore throat, but didn't think too much of it. Saturday morning, I woke up bright and early to go to the hospital and check on patients and I could swear someone had killed me during the night, buried me, and the dug me up without my knowing.

I...hurt...everywhere. My hair hurt. My fingernails hurt. My liver! My liver! I was shaking, but I was hot, then cold, then hot, then cold. My throat hurt like I had razor blades in it.

But being the dedicated medical student that I am, I got myself dressed and went to the hospital to meet the doc. I rounded on the patients and waited for him in the Dr's Lounge (which is actually slightly larger than a walk-in closet, has a desk, 2 chairs, and a window in it....oooh, livin the high life!). He sees me and says, "You don't look so good."

Well, I don't feel so good. I told him about my strange illness. He said it sounded like I was getting the flu, but the F-word is a dirty word around hospitals. Nobody wants to be the first hospital in the area to have documented cases of the flu. Fine with me. I'm happy to be in denial.

We saw a few patients and then went to the critical care unit. There, I almost passed out when examining a patient. I had to sit down and get my balance again. Doc saw I was fading fast, so he didn't ask much of me. I was mainly his scribe. I took notes on patients and wrote down what he said. Then, standing by the nurses' station, he began shooting the breeze about the good old days and I was about to puke. I got that prickly heat feeling you get in your forehead and face just before you start the Lamaze breathing to keep from puking.

Yeah. And I turned pasty white. Well, more pasty white than I normally am.

Without even asking for permission, I just turned around and said, "I need to leave. I'm very sick." I swear if I had any friends up here I would have called them to come get me from the hospital because I was very unsure of driving the 6 blocks home.

But I did.

and I got into bed.

And didn't think I would ever leave.

I also did what ever 26 year old woman with almost 3 years of medical training, 6 years of EMT experience, and who lives within earshot of a hospital would do.

I called my mom who lives 500 miles away and begged her to come down to take care of me. She was planning to come down on Monday when she was on her way to Louisville to visit a friend. Unfortunately, she was on call and could not come down until Monday. Then I called Roger, who felt horrible and wanted to help, but couldn't from so far away.

I shivered and sweated and ached for two days. On Monday, I called out sick from the office but asked if I could come in to be checked. My throat hurt and I was sure my ear was going to explode from the amount of pressure behind it. I dragged myself into doc's office in my pajamas. He looked at my tonsils and decided I had strep. Much to his surprise, my strep test was negative, but he gave me an antibiotic anyway. He told me to take as much time as I needed off and "don't be a hero. come back when you're really ready."

considering this is the same doc who had a problem with my boobage, he was being very caring and understanding. I found a new respect for him.

Monday was a wash. Tuesday was lost. Wednesday I slowly began to recover. By Thursday I came in for a half day of work.

Mom returned to my house from Louisville by Friday and I had a nice weekend with her.

And then I got sick again by Monday. Monday night I wanted to die. I called Roger at 4am to tell him my throat hurt so bad and I could hardly speak. I communicated mostly in grunts and I couldn't swallow..only drool and spit. He was so upset I think he was nearly crying on the phone. He felt completely helpless being so far away from me.

Gross.

Tuesday morning I met doc in the hospital and told him what was going on. He even enlisted the help of another doc on the foor and then he walked me down to the lab to get some blood work. He suspected Mono and gave me an Rx for some steroid (yay for Prednisone!) and told me to go home and rest.

Within an hour I was even sicker. I was dizzy from the pain in my throat and couldn't move my tongue at all. I got my drugs and headed home. Called Roger to tell him what I was doing. He told me he was leaving work soon and would be on his way down. He couldn't stand to hear me being so sick and all alone, so he was leaving work for the rest of the week and coming down to me.

Sigh. I loved him so much in that moment.

He got here Tuesday night and will be leaving on Sunday. I've been able to get back to the office for half days the past three days. Doc has been very understanding about me being so tired and in pain. The official diagnosis seems to be Mono of unknown viral cause. I wake up every morning about 4:30 in excruciating pain. Roger gets my pills for me and holds me until I fall asleep. He runs errands for me and takes excellent care of me. Waits on me hand and foot when I'm in bed resting. Gets me water, pills, M&M's or whatever else I may want.

I am very blessed.

And it seems that I am slowly recovering.

I don't ever want to be sick like this again, though.