September 17, 2006 6:08pm

Feeling less angry and much better today. :-)

I don't know what gets into me sometimes. Sometimes I'm angry with him. sometimes I feel sorry for him. One consolation is that he has put himself in a ponition to be with someone who lies and manipulates. She got into his head (not much of a challenge) and told him her divorce was finalized....um, a whole 3 weeks after she decided to leave her husband with no notice. Not possible (at least not in NJ).

At least I'm not dating someone who is still married.


Did I mention in another post that I want to have a bunch of kids, but no husband? Well, I am currently beginning my search for the man who will be the father of my bastard children...hencefourth to be called "The Stud".

I only want one Stud. Multiple Studs is far too complicated for me. Too much to keep track of. It's okay if The Stud and I are together. It would be nice if he wanted to be involved in the lives of his bastard children, but I don't expect any kind of financial contribution since I'll be doing well enough on my own. That part would be voluntary. He should be smart and good looking because I sure would hate to have dumb, ugly children!

My sister suggested a sperm bank. Strangely enough, you can order sperm from a sperm bank online! Just go through the catalogue, put in your credit card number, and UPS will send you a spermsicle in a few days.

I don't really like this option, though. Since I want my bastard children to all have the same father, I'd have to stockpile the entire supply from that one guy. And really, where does one keep something like that? I don't even like keeping meat in my freezer for more than a month.

The other problem is that I won't actually know this person. All I will know about them is their eye and hair color, heritage, and what field they work in. They could be very weird looking or have some major personality flaw. I'm not willing to swim in a gene pool like that.

Should I put an ad in the paper for applicants? Should I start by asking men I already know? So many decisions to make!