September 16, 2006 1:01pm

Saturday!

I love Satudays!

I've been kind of a lazy mess for the past two days. Haven't done a whole lot of school work, but I did manage to go grocery shopping, do laundry, mop the kitchen, and vacuum the first floor- so I guess that's progress.

Mike called me last night unexpectedly. I know I haven't mentioned him lately, but all seems to still be well there. I say he called unexpectedly because Fridays and weekends are usually busy for him at work so I normally only hear from him during the week. Anyway, it was a nice surprise. He's been having a tough time lately with some things and he sounded like himself again for the first time in a long time.

He's working out a time to come visit me. That would be nice.

I still have a hard time with how different my life is now than what I thought it would be. Even stranger for me is to be with Mike. Sometimes I actually feel guilty- like I'm doing something wrong. Maybe because we always had feelings for each other for so long, but never could act on them.

One thing that does make me feel better is that I didn't have to lie or cheat or deceive to be with him. Unlike the douche bag I was supposed to (barf) marry, this just happened because it was supposed to right now. I didn't have to hurt anyone to get here.

I still have angry moments over DB. I want him to hurt like I did. Most of all, I want him to understand that what he did was wrong. I don't think that will happen, though, because he doesn't think things on his own. Unless someone tells him it was wrong he will never see it himself. His family won't tell him because his psycho child-like mother is just happy to have her baby boy back home where he belongs that it never occurs to her she raised him to be emotionally 5 years old just like her. His father just stays out of the mess. His friends don't have enough character or backbone to tell him the truth.

I should get back to studying, or maybe I'll go for a walk and enjoy this beautiful day!