One more thing-
I think the reason that I mentioned DB is because that fuckin "Lips of an Angel" song is on all the time.
I hate, hate, hate that song with every fiber of my being.
Probably because I lived it, but from the other side. I was the girl on the other side of the door who didn't have a clue. I was the one being his from. I was the one being played for a fool.
I keep replaying that night over and over in my head. The night she showed up at the house demanding to see him. I should have thrown him out right there. I should have given him one hour to pack as much shit up as he could and get the hell out then, changed the locks in the morning.
But I didn't. I don't know why now. Maybe I wasn't strong enough to actually do it. Maybe I didn't want to believe any of it. Maybe I was too embarassed to have to tell people what happened and ignoring it seemed like a better option. Maybe I wasn't willing to give up on an 8 year relationship and an engagement that quickly.
Hindsight is 20/20. I could have and should have handled it differently. I should have kicked ass that night, but I didn't. I'm pissed that chance is gone and I won't get to redo it and get the upper hand.
I don't know what would make me feel better. Revenge? Justice? Getting the money back that is owed to me? Any of those would be a start, but probably wouldn't fix the damage that was done.
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You didn't just throw him out, etc because that's not who you are.
You have class. You do the right thing.
You gave him ample time to get all of his belongings because it was the right thing to do.
You're still thinking you're the fool, which is wrong.
You were the victim.
HE IS THE FOOL.
Generally speaking, yes.
Mainly for letting someone like you get away from him.
Trust me...he will regret losing you someday and you will hear the words come straight from his lips.
And you won't care one little bit.
And he will finally feel the way you did.
I promise.
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