Is blinding rage a healthy emotion?
Wow, this just hit me out of nowhere. I have never felt anger like this before. I've never wanted to just ruin a person so badly as I do now.
Funny thing is that I probably have the means to do it, too. But, truthfully, how can you ruin a person who has nothing and is going nowhere anyway?
All of the other fierce emotions passed, so I imagine this one will pass as well.
I'm also angry at myself. I'm angry that when he was here I didn't go nose to nose with him about every absurd thing he said. I hate myself for caving the way I did because, really, I didn't mean any of it. What am I sorry for? Why was I apologizing? What did I do? Got him the house he wanted. Encouraged him to finish college. Wanted him to find a better job. All things he should have wanted to do on his own....without my prodding.
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2 comments:
(((Liz))) I've been thru so many of the feelings you are expressing. Remember its okay, its healthy to have emotions. You are stronger. You will come out of this a better person.
Yes, I know I got VERY lucky that Scott & I are friends now, but it doesn't take away the hurt & anger I went thru!
Darling:
You're gonna feel a range of emotions. It all makes sense, but...all of the good stuff you wanted him to do to better himself, makes you that much better of a person, rather than not.
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