February 23, 2006 11:40am

So, despite the douche bag saying that he would leave it up to me if he stayed at the places where we are likely to be together (squad, race track) apparently he has decided to go back on that too.

I guess I shouldn't be surprised since he has become so adept at bullshit. Actually, it's not that he's any good at it he just can't help himself.

He always lied to me the way a little kid lies about brushing their teeth or cleaning their room. Not until recently did he start telling lies about important things. I was always able to see through it because it isn't hard to see through the lies of an idiot, but I guess I was just willing to overlook it.

Wow, now I see who really was settling for who.

So, a hard lesson for me to learn is that someone is either completely open and honest all the time or they never are. Accepting anything less than complete honesty at all times is just, well, stupid.

He was just a bad person and I'm usually a much better judge of character than that. I can usually pick people right out...asshole...loser.....arrogant. But this was tougher. Maybe because we were together for so long. The longer you know someone the easier it is to overlook the things about them that you don't like.

Oh well, it looks like there's no avoiding bumping into him now. He might find it awkward, though, because I'm starting to see what people who we work with and socialize with really think of him. I used to defend him a lot, but I don't have to any more. In some cases, people accepted him because of me- so with that being over now, his work environment may be a bit uncomfortable knowing what people are saying behind his back.

But, maybe he likes being the sucker. He was never very good at commanding respect, which is why the cop thing is kinda weird for him. Not that he seems to be going anywhere with it anyway.

Lord in heaven what was I thinking?

Security maybe?

He was safe. Our relationship was safe. It was easy.

I need someone to challenge me.