February 19, 2006 11:46pm

Why is it that when I mention the possibility of dating again, people always jump in with "Don't rush anything. You have plenty of time. Let yourself heal."?

Is there a set mourning period I'm supposed to wait? Remember, I'm not the one who left the relationship.

God forbid I see some hottie on TV and say "wow, look at his ass". My mom jumps in with, "There's no rush, sweetie, you'll find someone."

Right. I know there's no rush. But aren't I the best judge of when I'm "ready"?

And what exactly is it that I have to be ready for? To get married? Step right up, gentlemen, here you have a desperate woman looking for a husband.

Yeah, that'll get 'em running.

Ready for, um, well, ya know?

Hell, who isn't. But we can't all be sluts or there wouldn't be anyone to make fun of.

Or ready to look? To go out with people? To see what's out there? To enjoy the company of people who want to want to be around me and think I'm a super diva? And if those people happen to be single men then what's the problem?

To everyone who seems to be worried about me jumping into the arms of whoever comes along: Fear Not! I have a long and careful selection process that involves several security clearance levels and a trip to Victoria's Secret to weed out those who are quick to buy the strappy corset teddy and not also get a comfy pajama set to off set it.

More importantly, I'm not a cruel person and I wouldn't want to drag a complete stranger (or worse yet, someone I really care about) though my emotional upheaval, or use them just to fill lonely nights.

That being said, thanks for caring. :-)