January 16, 2007 9:18pm

Today was a great day, and there was absolutely no reason for it being so.

Last night was probably the worst night I've had sleeping in a long time. I finished all my school work relatively early, took a shower, got into my pj's, got comfy on the couch, took my sleep meds and waited for sleep to come.

And waited.

And waited.
And waited.

Finally got tired around 3am. Went up to bed. Read a little of my book. Laid there. Laid there. Couldn't get comfortable, but was so tired I could hardly move myself around.

Around 4am I got tired of that crap and brought my blanket and pillow downstairs. Cozied up on the couch again. Decided to be a little productive and do some board review questions, but since I was so mentally exhausted I couldn't concentrate on anything. Watched tv until 5:15am and was finally able to go to bed.

I had to get up at 8am for school. That sucked. Woke up late and tore out of here.

Now, here's what made today a great day.....

After class this morning (mandatory), I didn't just come home, roll onto the couch, and call it a day. That's what I've typically been doing lately. Or I've been just blowing off the entire morning, or the whole day. Thus leaving me home alone for more hours in the day and further perpetuating my feeling of isolation.

Nope. At noon I came home, made a quick lunch, took a shower, got dressed in a cute green skirt, a cream colored turtleneck, and my brown boots. I even put make-up on! Headed back to school for the rest of the afternoon.

Putting on nice clothes and make-up was psychological for me. It made me feel good to look good. It felt good to force myself to do something that was good for me, but not easy.

I still haven't made it back to my jujitsu class, but one thing at a time.

When I got home this afternoon, I crashed for a nap because of only having 3 hours of sleep last night. That's ok, though.

Did I mention that I started going to see a therapist? Well, I did. Going again tomorrow. I really like her. First, it's super easy to get an appointment and she has night hours which works well for my school schedule and my inabaility to be awake before noon most days.

She shoots straight with me. Doesn't spend an hour blowing smoke up my ass. In our first session, I told her my sob story of failed relationships. She was taking notes furiously and then looked up and said, "So, you're telling me you have a habit of picking men who have no balls?"

Um. I guess I do!

Time to hit the books!