I'm starting to become one of "those women".
One of those women who looks at herself in the mirror and thinks she's just too ugly to love. One of those women who thinks she'll never be happy. One of those women who is sure she'll be alone for the rest of her life.
I hate being one of those women.
It's turning me into a paranoid psycho who can't deal with normal life.
This is not me. This is not the person I have always been.
But maybe that's because I had something in life that gave me some sense of security.
Seriously, what is so wrong with me? What makes me so horrible to be with? You'd think men would be all interested in me...I'm going to be a docto, I have a house, I don't demand a whole lot of attention, I can buy my own jewelry.
Yet they seem to be more interested in the chick with the skinny nose at the bar who is wearing the corset and tight jeans and giggles a lot.
Maybe it's an age thing?
How can the same thing happen to me twice in one year?
Am I cursed?
Just unlucky?
When will it turn around?
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2 comments:
{{Liz}}
I'm so very sorry if what I think has happened...has happened.
Remember...it's his loss.
I know it still sucks:(
You have to remember that being as successful as you are right now and even more so down the road once you're done with school is blessing and not-so-much-a-blessing where guys are concerned.
There are idiots that won't appreciate it and respect you because of it...
And then there are the men that are equally successful and will be impressed, appreciate it and respect you because of it.
The latter just happen to be few and far between.
It seems that are 50 idiots for every 1 good guy.
And those odds just suck! LOL.
Do not let him or any other man make you think badly about yourself...*they* are the idiots!
You on the other hand...are smart, pretty, independant, fun, kind, caring, loving, giving and a slew of other positive things! And all of those positive things do not add up to anything negative.
I'm sure you have your faults...we all do.
But your good, far out weighs your bad.
Clearly the man is not only an idiot...but a coward to boot.
It hurts and it sucks ass...but you're better off without him!
Chalk it up to just another lesson learned.
It's all we can do.
Cry...get it and him out of your system...keep breathing and move forward!
Liz,
You haven't told us what's happened per say, but even if it's what it sounds like, you will be fine. You will get through it. You are an amazing person! Look at how much you have going for you. You know that you don't need a man to define you. I know it's easy to be the one giving advice. And as you know, I've been where you are, only I wasnt fortunate enough to have it happen before I married him.
Stop and take a deep breath. Realize how amazing you are. Find something in life to enjoy. Even if it's as small as a really great pizza (I know you enjoy that! lol) It's a start. Don't be afraid to reach out to friends and family, you need their support. I know they are more than happy to give it to you.
Here's a poem I want to share with you. It's brought me great comfort.
After a while you learn the subtle difference
Between holding a hand and chaining a soul,
And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning
And company doesn't mean security,
And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts
And presents aren't promises
And you begin to accept your defeats
With your head up and your eyes open,
With the grace of a woman,
Not the grief of a child
And you learn to build all your roads on today,
Because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans
and futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.
After awhile you learn that even sunshine
Burns if you get too much
So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul,
In stead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers
And you learn that you really can endure...
That you really are strong
And you really do have worth,
and you learn and learn...
With every good bye you learn.
Veronica Shoffstall 1971
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