December 18, 2005 11:25pm

I'm tired and I wanna go home....

I miss home. As busy as I am, it's kind of lonely here. I'm not really sure where I fit in, if at all.

I miss my friends. I think I've always been closer to my friends than my own family. At least, I always had more of a life with my friends. So I miss that now that I'm not home. I had a nice little groove in my life. People in town know me. The pharmacist always says "Hey Elizabeth". I had "groups" of people who knew me and I could socialize with even if they weren't actually friends. I had a job or two and friends there.

A groove. I've lost my groove. It was a comfortable groove. Not very wide. Just wide enough for me to ride in. I want my groove back!

I'm afraid that when I go home I won't be able to jump right in where I left off. I already know it won't be entirely the same. Ryan and I have a house now so I won't be going home to our cramped apartment. I'm kind of sad about that. I didn't get a chance to say "goodbye" to our first place together. The day I left we got in a fight in the parking lot.

I grew up in a house where there were no other kids. There weren't any kids on my street. I didn't even know there were others in my town until I was in the 5th grade. So it was kind of a lonely existance. I like being surrounded by people now. I like having things to do and people to see. But, down here I don't have that.

No groove.