May 15, 2007 12:59am

A professor at my school died over the weekend. He was young, it was sudden, everyone is in shock.

For some strange reason, nobody will tell us anything about why or how he died. He leaves behind a fiancee and 2 children from a previous marriage.

Yes, it's all very sad. What is annoying me is that students seem to be using this as an excuse to act even more bratty than they usually do. Shouldn't this be one of those moments when you say, "Wow, my life really isn't so bad. Maybe I should start appreciating more."

No, apprently not.

It's just a continuation of their favorite hobby.....bitching.

Bitching about everything and everyone. Bitching about having to be here, bitching about having to be there, bitching about assignments, bitching about tests, bitching about schedules.

They all think they already know better. Hey, how about having an open mind and maybe, just maybe, when someone who has been in practice for the last 15 years tells you something you consider that it just might be worth listening to. Let's just go out on a limb and say that maybe someone who has never set foot in a hospital other than as a visitor really doesn't have a fucking clue what goes on and this is supposed to all be a learning experience for them. Dashing in with all these ideas of "well, this is how it's going to be when I'm there...." will just make you look foolish.

Know what else hate? People who seem to be confrontational or argumentative about everything I say
For example:
Me: I'm having a hard time with this particular subject. I hope I did well on the test.
Other person: I'm sure I did well. This isn't difficult.
Me: Medical school isn't difficult?
OP: No, it's mostly just common sense.
Me: Well, I like going to class
OP: It's just a waste of time.
Me: I'm looking forward to starting rotations and being able to start using some of the skills I've learned
OP: They better not criticize me because I'm not gonna take any of that shit.
Me: Constructive criticism isn't so bad.
OP: I know what I'm doing already. I have a plan. My life fits into a plan. I know where I'm going
Me: Well, I do too, I think. I mean school is going well and it looks like I've got that whole career thing mostly figured out for now.
OP: Well, there's no point in you having a relationship because there's no reason to get married?
Me: Wha?
OP: Well, by the time we finish school you're going to be too old.
Me: Old?
OP: Yeah, I mean, after residency and stuff you'll be like 30.
Me: Right.
OP: Well, I wouldn't want to have, like a retarded kid, and that's what you get after 30.
Me: I've been getting tutoring from Dr.xxx for board review. It's been helpful.
OP: I think he's an arrogant ass.
Me: Well, he's been really helpful.
OP: He thinks he's really smart
Me: Well.....he is, actually.
OP: Yeah, I hate him.

How can you hate someone you don't even know? How can you have a dislike for someone so strong that you can call it hate for someone who you only know from the 1-2 hours/week they have lectured to you? How is it possible to have so much extra energy that you can have an opinion on absolutely EVERYONE and EVERYTHING?!?!?!?!?!

Mind you, this is a abbreviated form of several conversations I have had with someone.

Sigh.

And this someone is a friend.

Not that long ago, I was in a really, really dark place and I hated it. I hated that I couldn't enjoy every second of my life (well, nobody enjoys every second, but you get the idea). I hated that I felt useless. I hated having no energy, no happiness.

And now I'm in a completely different place. I'm excited for every day to come. I look forward to tomorrow, and the next day.

So why the hell am I made to feel guilty? "made" is aprobably the wrong word. I don't think anyone is trying to make me feel guilty. But whenever I don't bitch about everything and everyone, and have a hate for everything and everyone, I have to hear from everyone else about all the stuff they hate and all the people they hate.

Why can't anyone find something positive about their life? Why do the people who really don't have ANYTHING truly negative (illness, major financial problems, family catastrophe, etc) spend so much energy finding things to be angry about.

Walk in the door to find a family member unexpectedly dead. There's something to be angry about. That's life-changing.
Find out you have a brain tumor. Nothing will ever be the same.

But finding out that you have a test scheduled for a time that turns out to be inconvenient for you does not give you reason or the right to then be in a shitty mood for the rest of the week.
Seeing that you didn't do as well on an exam as you thought you did does not make the teacher an evil, evil person who deserves your disdain. If you're required to drive to some out of the way location to see patients with a rural doc one day, and your friend only had to go to the office across the street, it does not mean that there is a vast conspiracy against you. If something in your schedule doesn't work out the way you want it to, you can probably rest assured that it was not done simply to piss you off.

You are not that important. Psychos of the world are plotting assasinations and mass bombings. Nobody at any school where they are responsible for 300+ students in 4 years of classes is sitting at their desk in Mr. Burns fashion and plotting to destroy you by having a mandatory luncheon right at the time when you want to go grocery shopping.

This is true in general life as well. Granted, there are some lousy people in this world. Some of them really are out to get you for one reason or another. Some people just might try to destroy you or your career somehow and for some reason. This is terrible when it happens, but it qualifies as one of those life-changing things that someone has every right in the world to be pissed off about.

The dude who took the parking space that you really wanted at Wal-Mart did not arrive just at that moment solely for the purpose of ruining your day.

And if that's all it takes to ruin your day, then you need to remove the large boot that has been shoved up your ass.

I recommend a colonoscopy. Without sedative.