January 22, 2008 6:58pm

So I've been thinking about how on top of this wedding planning stuff I seem to be.

I've got until October and I already have the church, reception, photographer, and DJ booked. I've also got a place for the rehersal dinner. Go me!

Right?

Apparently I'm wrong. I am terribly terribly wrong.

At least according to the entire wedding planning board and the obsessive wedding planning message boards I look at.

I don't have a dress. Not really thrilled about looking for one either, but that's just me. Well, these chicks have bought their dresses 12, 18, and sometimes 24 months in advance of the wedding. Oh but it doesn't stop there....they also obsess over their shoes. They buy sometimes 3 different pairs (12 months in advance) and obsess over which ones to wear. It goes beyond that to hair accessories, jewelry, make-up (multiple and i do mean MULTIPLE make-up "trials" a year or more before the wedding), hair styles, etc.

I don't know about the rest of you, but my sister taught me how to put on make-up. I think I'll do just fine on my own with that.

I also don't purchase little decorative accents 9 months ahead and arrange and rearrange "sample tables" so I know exactly what the gift table will look like at the wedding.

It will be in October so I was thinking something fall-ish. See, now I know what it will look like. A table with a white tablecloth, gifts on it, and a pumpkin.

The types of things I *would* be worried about are my guests getting enough to eat and drink, the bathrooms being clean and if the food stays warm by the time it gets to everyone.

But I don't *need* to worry about these things because I booked a very reputable reception location with a great staff and very good quality food (and clean bathrooms).

Yes, I want to enjoy my wedding but more importantly I want to enjoy my marriage. I want to have a beautiful wedding and get to visit with friends and family who I don't see very often.

The gift that I really, really, really want? More than anything in the world? Lots and lots of hugs. Hugs galore. And smiles. I want to see smiles everywhere.

So maybe there is something wrong with me for planning all of this in a shorter amount of time than the others. Maybe I am cutting it too close and will be stressed and unhappy the day before the wedding because I don't have a wand for the flower girl that exactly matches the clip in the bridesmaids' hair. Maybe I'll be frantically searching for a "something blue" (another one of those wedding things I have no interest in) and then asking the anonymous public on message boards for their opinion on if it's blue enough. Maybe I'll be out on a midnight run for a tussy mussy.

And this is where my rage peaks... What in the name of fucking Vera Wang is a fucking tussy mussy and why are you using one (much less searching for the perfect one) if you are over the age of 4?!! New from Playskool! Introducing the Vewy Vewy Special Tussy Mussy! Your child will have hours of fun! Play, laugh, grow!

To be honest, I don't especially mind the little details. It's just that when I come home from the hospital for the evening I just can't get myself all worked up about someone's "crisis" over which font to have their monogram in for the matchbooks.