I wanted to write a little about the wedding planning. All of this studying stuff, plus some other problems I'm having with rotation scheduling and my most unhelpful school is getting me all wrapped around the axle and unable to enjoy the wedding stuff.
So here's what I've got so far.
I think I already mentioned that the reception will be at the Crystal Point Yacht Club in Point Pleasant. They're handling all the food, drinks, linens, etc.
Roger and I completed our pre-canna (had potential to be good, but was rather useless) and have had a few meetings with our priest. I know we're scheduled for at least one more before the wedding.
The dress is ordered, but not in yet. I know I included a link in an earlier post for those interested. The girls have their dresses. I told them to find a black cocktail length dress of their choosing. My shoes are in and I have something for my hair (which I have been working on growing out a bit).
I have the DJ and photographer booked, and the florist is scheduled also.
I decided I wanted to do centerpieces in conch shells, but I have to order the shells myself. Mom is faxing the order down to the shell place for me tomorrow, but this is the general idea of what I'm going for (different flowers, of course)....
The flower girl basket (to be filled with an arrangement, not petals since we're not allowed to throw petals) and the ring bearer pillow came from ebay.
Roger is going to buy himself a tux, but he hasn't gotten to that yet. We decided that since he's 30 and we're not going to a high school prom, he's going to go with a cumberbun rather than a vest. Have you ever seen James Bond or Cary Grant in a vest tuxedo? No. I didn't think so.
We picked out the invitations. We're going with pocketfold style invites. It appeals to my compulsive sense of organization. I know we should have them ordered by now, but I can't do that with the board exam so I am going to do it directly after the exam is over. We just need to provide all the address of our guests and the store takes care of the envelope addressing for us.
Somewhere in this process I moved from being uber frugal to being willing to pay extra for convenience.
Mostly, this has been enjoyable. There are a few things that worry me, though.
First, my mother. She has been wonderful during all of this. However, I had a vision (always where I get into trouble) of her being here with me during the getting ready process. Hanging out with "the girls". Having pictures done with the photographer. Then we all go to the ceremony. Not quite. Mom has to pick up the old people in our family who can't drive themselves. God forbid someone else in the family (like aunts and uncles) be the designated taxi cab for the day to free her up. No, she has to do it. I guess this isn't so much of a problem. I mean, she can stay here for a while and then go on her route.
Next, my vision included my mom coming with us for pictures after the ceremony. Now this is where it gets tricky because the old people she has in her car aren't going to be in the formal pictures. So what does she do? Come to where we're doing pictures and leave the old people in the car? I haven't discussed this with her yet, but I know she has absolutely no idea that she should be coming with us for pictures. I know she plans to go directly from the church to the reception place and get the old people inside. Again, why the fuck can't someone else do this?
I also have a vision that my mom gets to sit with her friends at the wedding instead of the rest of my family. This is because I know very well that if she sits with the family she will not move her ass all night and instead sit there and help them decide between beef or chicken. She will sit with people who she sees at least twice a week anyway, and her friends who she sees twice a year will get a "Hi! How are ya? Thanks for comin!" And she will scurry back to the old people.
This last part I have some control over. I told her last night that she will be sitting with her friends. She protested and said she *needs* to sit with the old people (but she used their names), and I told her that was absurd because the old people can talk to the rest of our family. She finally gave in and said, "Okay, it's your wedding. I'll sit wherever you want me to sit."
Sheesh!
My other worries?
Well, Roger and I went to his cousin's wedding a few weeks ago and I saw some things that probably won't go over well if they're done at our wedding.
There was an incredible amount of intrusive picture taking...intrusive meaning on the altar during the ceremony and right in the way of the view of the guests. Since our church only allows the photographer to be moving around taking pictures, I don't know how to nicely get the word out that this is not appropriate. Perhaps I should put a note in the program "Stay in your seat or you will be shot immediately." No, that might be too harsh. What if someone has to pee? Those old people have tiny bladders!
I know this all must make me sound like I hate old people and don't want anyone to distract from the glory of me by flashing a picture during our ceremony. Really, I'm not that horrible. The first part is really more my frustration with my mother's need to take care of everyone and my family's total lack of ability to take over some responsibility. The latter is really more the church's rules and I don't want anyone to do something that is inappropriate during a religious ceremony.
I learned several years ago that my super planning and very detailed images of what will/should happen only set me up for disappointment. Therefore, my expectations for exactly how things will happen are very minimal. This way, I won't be so flustered by the little things that will certainly go wrong. As of right now, my framework is that on the morning of October 17th I'll wake up, have a bagel, hang out with my girls and then by that night I'll be married.
And damnit that bagel better be there or MY DAY will be RUINED!
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