I want a dog. I'm not a big fan of cats, mostly because of the severe allergic reaction I have whenever I am near one. Someone at school was giving away 5 puppies; half black lab, half german shepherd. i wanted one so badly I actually cried when I got in my truck and drove away and didn't have one with me.
My landlord won't let me have a pet, or I would now be the proud owner of two half lab half shepherd puppies named Miles and Coltrane, or Fred and Ginger depending on the sexes.
Thinking about dogs makes me realize how much I prefer dogs to people.
And that makes me realize how much I don't want to get married.
I sort of grew into the idea of getting married the longer DB and I were together. Maybe it's the break-up, maybe it's just me realizing I'm better off unmarried. Either way, I just really hate the idea of getting married. I know it works for a lot of people, but I just don't see it working for me.
This doesn't mean that I don't want to have someone in my life or have kids and a family of my own one day. It just means I really don't think I need to get married to have that.
I brought this up with my mom tonight. The conversation went like this:
Me: I really hate the idea of marriage. I just don't ever want to get married. It seems like a very co-dependent thing to be involved in.
Mom: But if you want to have children, being married makes it easier.
Now, there is some irony here because I think that my mother being married to my father actually made my life as a child much harder than it had to be. But I digress....
Me: You don't HAVE to be married to have kids.
Mom: Well, yeah, but, um, that's kind of, um, weird.
Me: It's only weird if you have no idea who the father is. That's very different from just not being married to him.
Mom: ::silence::
If I was pregnant, that would have been an awesome intro to that bombshell.
Maybe my thoughts on this will change one day, but I don't see that happening any time soon.
Oddly enough, I do want a family very much. My poor mother. She tries so hard not to flip out when I make decisions she doesn't agree with. The rest of my family isn't quite as accepting.
On a totally unrelated note....I want ice cream right now. I have some Breyers French Vanilla in the freezer. I have to say that I do not like it at all. It tastes sticky. Not refreshing. I'm off to find some plain ice cream that will melt nicely into an ice cream soup.
Sunday, August 27, 2006
Thursday, August 24, 2006
August 24, 2006 11:50pm
4 Days closer to being 30.
That's how I'm going to measure my life.
Today's thoughts are on laundry. I love doing laundry. In fact, I have what I like to call a "laundry lab" here. I have the detergent, bleach, oxyclean, stain stick, fabric softener all line dup on top of the dryer. I add carefully measured amounts of these things to my loads of laundry. There's something very satisfying about putting things in that are dirty and having them come out clean.
You can change the way your clothes smell just by changing your detergent. Think about how amazing that is. Think about the people you love the most. Don't they have a certain smell? Sometimes it's from their laundry detergent. You can give yourself a completely different smell just by switching to a new detergent!
I have a friend whose laundry smells so good. I think it's Tide, but I can't duplicate it exactly. Every time I'm around him I breathe deeply because he just smells so darn good! And I know it's his clothes because he has a clean laundry smell. Then everything he touches in my house has that smell and i love it. I become a psycho and start sniffing throw pillows.
I really love laundry.
That's how I'm going to measure my life.
Today's thoughts are on laundry. I love doing laundry. In fact, I have what I like to call a "laundry lab" here. I have the detergent, bleach, oxyclean, stain stick, fabric softener all line dup on top of the dryer. I add carefully measured amounts of these things to my loads of laundry. There's something very satisfying about putting things in that are dirty and having them come out clean.
You can change the way your clothes smell just by changing your detergent. Think about how amazing that is. Think about the people you love the most. Don't they have a certain smell? Sometimes it's from their laundry detergent. You can give yourself a completely different smell just by switching to a new detergent!
I have a friend whose laundry smells so good. I think it's Tide, but I can't duplicate it exactly. Every time I'm around him I breathe deeply because he just smells so darn good! And I know it's his clothes because he has a clean laundry smell. Then everything he touches in my house has that smell and i love it. I become a psycho and start sniffing throw pillows.
I really love laundry.
Sunday, August 20, 2006
August 20, 2006 11:23am
Today is my 25th birthday. For the first time in years, I actually want to make a big deal about my birthday. Maybe it's because I'm trapped at school and can't really do much to celebrate.
I am going to lunch with a friend today, so that's something.
I don't like being 25. I thought I would have more accomplished by now. I know that sounds absurd, but I really thought I'd be further along in my life. I thought I'd be more settled with a job and just general lifestyle.
A lot of that changed this year and was beyond my control. I hate when other people don't understand my plans!
I am going to lunch with a friend today, so that's something.
I don't like being 25. I thought I would have more accomplished by now. I know that sounds absurd, but I really thought I'd be further along in my life. I thought I'd be more settled with a job and just general lifestyle.
A lot of that changed this year and was beyond my control. I hate when other people don't understand my plans!
Friday, August 18, 2006
August 18, 2006 11:57pm
Pizza makes me thirsty. Not just normal "Hey I ate something salty so I need a cold drink" kind of thirsty, but more like "I have stopped producing antidiuretic hormone and I need a constant flow of liquid into my body" thirsty.
I had three slices of pizza for dinner tonight and have since finished off 3 Quarts of unsweetened iced tea. Let me tell you.... I am a peeing fiend! I just can't help myself.
I don't think this is normal. I feel like I should be able to handle my salt a little better.
This summer I had abnormally high blood pressure. After a million tests, I was told that it was probably due to stress and anxiety and I needed to just relax more. Just as quickly as it got high, it went back to being quite low. When it was high I didn't know and didn't care. Now that it's low, every time I stand up I instantly get dizzy and my heart pounds so hard I think it's going to jump out of my chest. I would worry about this, except in school today I learned that this is a normal reaction as long as it lasts just a few minutes. It does. It's called "reflex tachycardia". What happens is that all my blood falls down in my body because of gravity and my heart tried to pump faster to get more of it to my brain.
Yay for my heart looking out for my brain's best interest.
But none of this is related to my thirst issues.
When I don't eat salty food I don't get thirsty. Sometimes it will be 3 or 4 in the afternoon before I realize I haven't had anything to drink. I live in a constant state of dehydration and, therefore, low blood pressure.
I read one of BBM's posts on how she drinks milk with every meal and something clicked in my head "that sounds yummy". So now I am addicted to drinking organic milk with every meal...except pizza because that doesn't sound yummy at all.
I had three slices of pizza for dinner tonight and have since finished off 3 Quarts of unsweetened iced tea. Let me tell you.... I am a peeing fiend! I just can't help myself.
I don't think this is normal. I feel like I should be able to handle my salt a little better.
This summer I had abnormally high blood pressure. After a million tests, I was told that it was probably due to stress and anxiety and I needed to just relax more. Just as quickly as it got high, it went back to being quite low. When it was high I didn't know and didn't care. Now that it's low, every time I stand up I instantly get dizzy and my heart pounds so hard I think it's going to jump out of my chest. I would worry about this, except in school today I learned that this is a normal reaction as long as it lasts just a few minutes. It does. It's called "reflex tachycardia". What happens is that all my blood falls down in my body because of gravity and my heart tried to pump faster to get more of it to my brain.
Yay for my heart looking out for my brain's best interest.
But none of this is related to my thirst issues.
When I don't eat salty food I don't get thirsty. Sometimes it will be 3 or 4 in the afternoon before I realize I haven't had anything to drink. I live in a constant state of dehydration and, therefore, low blood pressure.
I read one of BBM's posts on how she drinks milk with every meal and something clicked in my head "that sounds yummy". So now I am addicted to drinking organic milk with every meal...except pizza because that doesn't sound yummy at all.
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
August 16, 2006 11:39am
Why are people so afraid of the word "dead"? I don't mean having a fear of death, I mean fear or dislike of saying the word "dead". What is with this "passed away" bullshit? If something or someone is dead then dead is what they should be called. The only things that are passed are tests and gas.
When my dad died I remember calling my sister and saying the words "Daddy died." There was no question of what happened. He was dead. No longer alive. Ceased to be.
Even in medical school they tell us that if a patient dies and we are informing the family we should clearly say, "I'm sorry, but they died." We aren't supposed to say "I'm sorry, but they passed away." or "They passed on." Also to be avoided are the cruder "kicked the bucket", "bought the farm", "paid the piper", etc. We are supposed to say the word "dead" because it's real. It doesn't sugar coat it. There's no room for interpretation.
So why is it in general conversation we say "passed away"? I believe in heaven. Some people don't. But even if you do, the person is still dead. It's their spirit that lives on, but their body is most decidedly dead.
I want to start a movement to bring back the word "dead". Don't be afraid of it.
When my dad died I remember calling my sister and saying the words "Daddy died." There was no question of what happened. He was dead. No longer alive. Ceased to be.
Even in medical school they tell us that if a patient dies and we are informing the family we should clearly say, "I'm sorry, but they died." We aren't supposed to say "I'm sorry, but they passed away." or "They passed on." Also to be avoided are the cruder "kicked the bucket", "bought the farm", "paid the piper", etc. We are supposed to say the word "dead" because it's real. It doesn't sugar coat it. There's no room for interpretation.
So why is it in general conversation we say "passed away"? I believe in heaven. Some people don't. But even if you do, the person is still dead. It's their spirit that lives on, but their body is most decidedly dead.
I want to start a movement to bring back the word "dead". Don't be afraid of it.
Monday, August 14, 2006
August 14, 2006 12:46pm
Back at school.
I really don't want to be here. Everything is just annoying me. People. Heat. General life. I'm just irritated by it all.
My mom came down this weekend and helped me settle in. She cleaned my apartment for me and made it livable.
Today is my frist day back in class.
I feel somewhat like an outcast, and I'm not entirely sure why.
I'll try to say more later.
I really don't want to be here. Everything is just annoying me. People. Heat. General life. I'm just irritated by it all.
My mom came down this weekend and helped me settle in. She cleaned my apartment for me and made it livable.
Today is my frist day back in class.
I feel somewhat like an outcast, and I'm not entirely sure why.
I'll try to say more later.
Saturday, August 05, 2006
August 5, 2006 10:06pm
Calling all parents or people who were once children.......
I'm trying to find a kid's book that I remember. Don't know the title, though.
The story is about a bear and a doll that live on the same shelf in a store. Nobody buys them and they become really good friends. One day, a little boy buys the bear and a little girl buys the doll and they go to different places, but are happy in their new homes.
Sucks, I know. I would make my mom read it to me over and over in hopes that the ending would change. It didn't.
Any idea what the title is? I must find this book!!
I continued my movie marathon today. Match Point actually wasn't so bad, but I can add it to the list of movies that have no real ending. I can also add Broken Flowers to that list and possibly even put it at the top since every conflict in the story line went completely unresolved.
I'm trying to find a kid's book that I remember. Don't know the title, though.
The story is about a bear and a doll that live on the same shelf in a store. Nobody buys them and they become really good friends. One day, a little boy buys the bear and a little girl buys the doll and they go to different places, but are happy in their new homes.
Sucks, I know. I would make my mom read it to me over and over in hopes that the ending would change. It didn't.
Any idea what the title is? I must find this book!!
I continued my movie marathon today. Match Point actually wasn't so bad, but I can add it to the list of movies that have no real ending. I can also add Broken Flowers to that list and possibly even put it at the top since every conflict in the story line went completely unresolved.
Thursday, August 03, 2006
August 3, 2006 9:29pm
After my attempts at going to the the beach today were hampered by the heat, I decided to make a movie day. I headed over to blockbuster and rented just about anything I could get my hands on that I hadn't already seen or was totally uninterested in.
After several hours of movie watching, take-out from Surf Taco, and many glasses of iced tea I can safely say I have seen two of the worst movies ever made:
1) Domino
2)Aeon Flux
That's about 4 hours of my life that I'm never going to get back.
After several hours of movie watching, take-out from Surf Taco, and many glasses of iced tea I can safely say I have seen two of the worst movies ever made:
1) Domino
2)Aeon Flux
That's about 4 hours of my life that I'm never going to get back.
Sunday, July 30, 2006
July 30, 2006 10:59pm
My summer vacation is quickly coming to a close.
What I've learned this summer:
1)Don't count on other people, deal with crap yourself.
2)Don't count on other people, deal with crap yourself.
3)When it's really hot out, just stay inside dumbass!
4)No matter how good an air conditioner you may have, the upstairs will always be hotter than downstairs. This is a fact. Accept it.
5)New Jersey is way better than West Virginia.
6)Pork Roll is the best breakfast meat ever. Period.
7)Doing things by myself isn't so bad and I should do it more often.
Those were some major life lessons right there.
Anyone listened to the Saving Jane album? Don't be turned off by that corny "Girl Next Door" song. It's actually a really good album. Seriously. Go listen to it. If I wasn't so inept and so tired right now I would try to figure out how to put the music on my blog. I know how to add videos, but the only video they have is for the stupid Girl Next Door song and that's what I'm trying to avoid.
Know what I find to be a real waste of time? Peeing. I just hate having to go pee. There are so many other things I have to do in a day and it's really never a convenient time to pee. That's why I wait hours and hours and hours until I'm doing the 5 year old pee-pee dance before I go. If I never had to pee I would probably have a few hours of extra free time over a lifetime.
What I've learned this summer:
1)Don't count on other people, deal with crap yourself.
2)Don't count on other people, deal with crap yourself.
3)When it's really hot out, just stay inside dumbass!
4)No matter how good an air conditioner you may have, the upstairs will always be hotter than downstairs. This is a fact. Accept it.
5)New Jersey is way better than West Virginia.
6)Pork Roll is the best breakfast meat ever. Period.
7)Doing things by myself isn't so bad and I should do it more often.
Those were some major life lessons right there.
Anyone listened to the Saving Jane album? Don't be turned off by that corny "Girl Next Door" song. It's actually a really good album. Seriously. Go listen to it. If I wasn't so inept and so tired right now I would try to figure out how to put the music on my blog. I know how to add videos, but the only video they have is for the stupid Girl Next Door song and that's what I'm trying to avoid.
Know what I find to be a real waste of time? Peeing. I just hate having to go pee. There are so many other things I have to do in a day and it's really never a convenient time to pee. That's why I wait hours and hours and hours until I'm doing the 5 year old pee-pee dance before I go. If I never had to pee I would probably have a few hours of extra free time over a lifetime.
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
July 26, 2006
My grandmother died last Friday. I knew she was going to die soon ans I sort of hoped it would be before I went back down to school. It was.
Ryan (I will refrain from using his more common name now) sent my mom a basket of flowers. That was nice, I guess. He put this weird quote on the card. Something about angels and heaven. Not his writing. Weird.
Simultaneously, Mike totally vanished into thin air for almost two weeks. I knew he was at work, but the only way I have to reach him is by cell phone and he wasn't answering it.... long story short, I was a total wreck thinking something terrible happened to him. turns out his phone took a swim in the toilet.
So I've had a bit of an emotional few weeks. A few meltdowns were in order. Talked to Mike this morning and explained to him that I'm unhappy with how I feel a bit ignored by him. Without going into all of the details, it was a productive conversation and I feel a lot better.
I had some weird things taken off me two weeks ago. The biposies all came back okay, except one had atypical cells and hyperplasia. That means it wasn't a melanoma, but it would have been if I left it there.
I don't want to go back to WV. Home is so much nicer.
Ryan (I will refrain from using his more common name now) sent my mom a basket of flowers. That was nice, I guess. He put this weird quote on the card. Something about angels and heaven. Not his writing. Weird.
Simultaneously, Mike totally vanished into thin air for almost two weeks. I knew he was at work, but the only way I have to reach him is by cell phone and he wasn't answering it.... long story short, I was a total wreck thinking something terrible happened to him. turns out his phone took a swim in the toilet.
So I've had a bit of an emotional few weeks. A few meltdowns were in order. Talked to Mike this morning and explained to him that I'm unhappy with how I feel a bit ignored by him. Without going into all of the details, it was a productive conversation and I feel a lot better.
I had some weird things taken off me two weeks ago. The biposies all came back okay, except one had atypical cells and hyperplasia. That means it wasn't a melanoma, but it would have been if I left it there.
I don't want to go back to WV. Home is so much nicer.
Monday, July 17, 2006
July 17, 2006 10:11am
My friend Georgina is coming to visit today. I go to school with her. She's actually not coming here to see me so much as she's coming to shadow my mom for a few days.
My neighbors moved. Well, not all of them, just half of them. There were parents and two older sons living there. The parents moved to Florida two weeks ago. The sons packed them up and drove down with them. While they were packing, they asked if they could park some of their cars in my driveway so they could park the U-Haul in their driveway. Being the nice neighbor that I am, I said they could.
When I got home later that day, I found a large SUV parked right in the middle of my driveway and a beat up POS with no license plates way in the back driveway. Arggh! Fine. I'll be nice.
Days go by and the cars are still there. Then it's time for them to leave. They promise me that the POS will be out of the driveway before they leave. Great!
Nope. I see them standing around the POS with the hood up and the thing is smoking. And they just HAD to leave right then. Couldn't wait to get the POS out of my driveway.
They left and the boys came back a week later. POS still sitting in my driveway. It took two more days for them to get their act together and get it out of there.
The irony in this is that I thought I was finally in a place in my life where I didn't have someone filling up my yard with crappy, unusable cars.
Well, at least some things never change.
Oh, and if anyone happens to see or talk to DB....could you please ask him why he has the money to buy two more junk vehicles but doesn't have the money to pay back what he owes me or my mother.
Oh yeah, I know all about what's going on.
My neighbors moved. Well, not all of them, just half of them. There were parents and two older sons living there. The parents moved to Florida two weeks ago. The sons packed them up and drove down with them. While they were packing, they asked if they could park some of their cars in my driveway so they could park the U-Haul in their driveway. Being the nice neighbor that I am, I said they could.
When I got home later that day, I found a large SUV parked right in the middle of my driveway and a beat up POS with no license plates way in the back driveway. Arggh! Fine. I'll be nice.
Days go by and the cars are still there. Then it's time for them to leave. They promise me that the POS will be out of the driveway before they leave. Great!
Nope. I see them standing around the POS with the hood up and the thing is smoking. And they just HAD to leave right then. Couldn't wait to get the POS out of my driveway.
They left and the boys came back a week later. POS still sitting in my driveway. It took two more days for them to get their act together and get it out of there.
The irony in this is that I thought I was finally in a place in my life where I didn't have someone filling up my yard with crappy, unusable cars.
Well, at least some things never change.
Oh, and if anyone happens to see or talk to DB....could you please ask him why he has the money to buy two more junk vehicles but doesn't have the money to pay back what he owes me or my mother.
Oh yeah, I know all about what's going on.
Thursday, July 13, 2006
July 13, 2006 9:39pm
Working has completely cut into my vacation/relaxation/being lazy time. On the bright side, it refocused me and reminded me why I'm in med school. I was starting to hate life for a while there, and I think this has helped remind me that it's ok to hate life for a little while because it's going to get better soon.
Speaking of getting better soon.....
The holes in my mouth are finally starting to close up. The food getting stuck in them is really, really gross though.
I'm sitting here now enjoying a Fresca and Vodka. Don't mock it, it's really good!
I feel old. I'm going to be 25 in a month. I guess it sounds silly, but I'm not a patient person and I want my life to be settled, not so stirred up. I feel like it's going to take me so long to get settled that I won't be able to enjoy it. By the time I feel safe and secure and happy, I'll be really old, have saggy boobs, grey hair, and wrinkles.
Bah. More vodka.
Speaking of getting better soon.....
The holes in my mouth are finally starting to close up. The food getting stuck in them is really, really gross though.
I'm sitting here now enjoying a Fresca and Vodka. Don't mock it, it's really good!
I feel old. I'm going to be 25 in a month. I guess it sounds silly, but I'm not a patient person and I want my life to be settled, not so stirred up. I feel like it's going to take me so long to get settled that I won't be able to enjoy it. By the time I feel safe and secure and happy, I'll be really old, have saggy boobs, grey hair, and wrinkles.
Bah. More vodka.
Monday, July 10, 2006
July 10, 2006 2:24pm
This is the last summer I am ever going to have off.
For most of the world, summers off stopped after high school or college, but I extended that by a few years.
Not having summers off is just normal for most people.
I, however, am not coping with this very well. I planned to have the most awesome kick ass summer vacation ever.
It didn't happen that way. Most of my plans fell through and those that didn't turned not to not be "all that". I think the anticipation was too great. My expectations were too high. Shit just didn't go my way.
Well ain't life a bitch?
But I do have some new plans for the coming year. Specifically, I want to come home more often. Last year, that long stretch between August and December when I wasn't home nearly killed me. I had DB coming to see me a few times, so that helped, but now I'm on my own. I asked Mike to come and visit, and he said he would like to and will try, but with his work schedule I don't know how he can until things settle down with his business. I don't want to come up here just to see him, though, I want to sleep in my bed, in my room, in my house, cook in my kitchen, and just be in my town.
Ooooh. I had moles removed today. Isn't that exciting? One was really funky looking which is what prompted me to go to the surgeron in the first place and he decided to take 3 others at the same time. So anyway, one was on my shoulder and I started to watch him cutting into it and YIKES I completely freaked out. Not good. No. Very bad. For some reason, doctors think that because I'm in medical school I want to see these things. WRONG. My gynecologist offered me a mirror last time I was in her office. A mirror? No thanks. Ya seen one ya seen em all.
For most of the world, summers off stopped after high school or college, but I extended that by a few years.
Not having summers off is just normal for most people.
I, however, am not coping with this very well. I planned to have the most awesome kick ass summer vacation ever.
It didn't happen that way. Most of my plans fell through and those that didn't turned not to not be "all that". I think the anticipation was too great. My expectations were too high. Shit just didn't go my way.
Well ain't life a bitch?
But I do have some new plans for the coming year. Specifically, I want to come home more often. Last year, that long stretch between August and December when I wasn't home nearly killed me. I had DB coming to see me a few times, so that helped, but now I'm on my own. I asked Mike to come and visit, and he said he would like to and will try, but with his work schedule I don't know how he can until things settle down with his business. I don't want to come up here just to see him, though, I want to sleep in my bed, in my room, in my house, cook in my kitchen, and just be in my town.
Ooooh. I had moles removed today. Isn't that exciting? One was really funky looking which is what prompted me to go to the surgeron in the first place and he decided to take 3 others at the same time. So anyway, one was on my shoulder and I started to watch him cutting into it and YIKES I completely freaked out. Not good. No. Very bad. For some reason, doctors think that because I'm in medical school I want to see these things. WRONG. My gynecologist offered me a mirror last time I was in her office. A mirror? No thanks. Ya seen one ya seen em all.
Thursday, July 06, 2006
July 6, 2006 5:23pm
The wisdom teeth experience wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be. A little Versed and I don't remember a thing! Unfortunately, I developed dry sockets and now I have to have them packed with something that tastes like cloves. Ick!
The pain from the dry sockets was much worse than the pain from the initial extraction.
I'm wearing a holter monitor for the day because I was having some heart palpitations. It's annoying having all of these stickies on me and carrying around this power pack.
Tomorrow is going to be a crazy day. I have to get my teeth re-packed in the morning, drive all the way up to work (an hour with no traffic) work a few hours, get home in time to drop off the holter at the hospital, and come home to shave my legs because Mike is supposed to have tomorrow night off.
"Supposed to" is the key phrase there. But things are going well with his business. Really well, actually, so I can't bitch too much. It's nice being with a guy who has motivation and self direction.
Back in the day when we were just friends and working together, I would spent the better part of a 12-14 hour shift telling him that he was doing nothing with his life and he was so much better than what he was settling for. Every chance I got I would remind him that he won't be happy there and he had to find something else to do so he could feel successful.
Well he picked a fine time to go and take my advice! Doesn't he understand that I want to be the center of attention for just a little while! He can go and get busy when I'm bored with him.
Ho hum.
The pain from the dry sockets was much worse than the pain from the initial extraction.
I'm wearing a holter monitor for the day because I was having some heart palpitations. It's annoying having all of these stickies on me and carrying around this power pack.
Tomorrow is going to be a crazy day. I have to get my teeth re-packed in the morning, drive all the way up to work (an hour with no traffic) work a few hours, get home in time to drop off the holter at the hospital, and come home to shave my legs because Mike is supposed to have tomorrow night off.
"Supposed to" is the key phrase there. But things are going well with his business. Really well, actually, so I can't bitch too much. It's nice being with a guy who has motivation and self direction.
Back in the day when we were just friends and working together, I would spent the better part of a 12-14 hour shift telling him that he was doing nothing with his life and he was so much better than what he was settling for. Every chance I got I would remind him that he won't be happy there and he had to find something else to do so he could feel successful.
Well he picked a fine time to go and take my advice! Doesn't he understand that I want to be the center of attention for just a little while! He can go and get busy when I'm bored with him.
Ho hum.
Monday, July 03, 2006
July 4, 2006 12:39am
Lots to update on, but I'm a little sleepy.
The short version...
Since last week I have
1) Had my wisdom teeth taken out (all 4)
2) visited with my sisters who came for the weekend
3) had an amazing time with my twin niece and nephew (they're 4 years old)
4) cooked some absolutely fabulous meals
5)went to the beach!
6) thought about just how happy I am with my life and how wonderfully lucky I am
I'll explain more tomorrow. Right now I'm going to slip into bed between my 1200 thread count sheets that I got at a deal from overstock.com (hey, I may be a brat, but I'm still just a student) and dream sweet dreams.
And does anyone know what to do about the very, um, umcomfortable and long-lasting side effect one gets from percocet? If you know what I'm talking about then you probably know how to fix it. Help me please! I'm going to explode soon.
The short version...
Since last week I have
1) Had my wisdom teeth taken out (all 4)
2) visited with my sisters who came for the weekend
3) had an amazing time with my twin niece and nephew (they're 4 years old)
4) cooked some absolutely fabulous meals
5)went to the beach!
6) thought about just how happy I am with my life and how wonderfully lucky I am
I'll explain more tomorrow. Right now I'm going to slip into bed between my 1200 thread count sheets that I got at a deal from overstock.com (hey, I may be a brat, but I'm still just a student) and dream sweet dreams.
And does anyone know what to do about the very, um, umcomfortable and long-lasting side effect one gets from percocet? If you know what I'm talking about then you probably know how to fix it. Help me please! I'm going to explode soon.
Thursday, June 22, 2006
June 22, 2006 11:35am
I started working at my old job again. Not the track...well, I'm there too, but also at my job at Saint Barnabas. I have a snazzy new title: Pandemic Planner. Such an awesome resume boost! I do daily updates on Avian Flu news that goes out to a growing distribution list. I'm also writing the hospital system's pandemic flu plan. Most of all, I'm just happy to be back there with my guys.
I am worried about a friend of mine there. He has cancer. Hodgkin's Disease. He's only about 31 years old. Too young to have to go through this. This is the 3rd time he's been sick in the past few years. He's been in some form of treatment for almost as long as I've known him. I remember when I first started working for him. I thought he was just so-o-o-o cute! He's still cute, but he looks very different. Anyway, I think he isn't feeling well most days and it really breaks my heart to see him like that.
Today is my day off and it's raining. My big chance to go to the beach is gone.
Hopefully I'll get to see Mike tomorrow night. He's been working every day since last week and hasn't been around at all. But his business is doing well and it's about to grow exponentially (fingers crossed) as long as a particularly big contract works out for him. I miss him and it's frustrating not being able to see him or talk to him whenever I want. But I'm very proud of him. I sent him a text message today just to remind him of that because, well, I'm awesome.
Off to do some studying and reviewing so I don't forget everything I learned about being a doctor!
I am worried about a friend of mine there. He has cancer. Hodgkin's Disease. He's only about 31 years old. Too young to have to go through this. This is the 3rd time he's been sick in the past few years. He's been in some form of treatment for almost as long as I've known him. I remember when I first started working for him. I thought he was just so-o-o-o cute! He's still cute, but he looks very different. Anyway, I think he isn't feeling well most days and it really breaks my heart to see him like that.
Today is my day off and it's raining. My big chance to go to the beach is gone.
Hopefully I'll get to see Mike tomorrow night. He's been working every day since last week and hasn't been around at all. But his business is doing well and it's about to grow exponentially (fingers crossed) as long as a particularly big contract works out for him. I miss him and it's frustrating not being able to see him or talk to him whenever I want. But I'm very proud of him. I sent him a text message today just to remind him of that because, well, I'm awesome.
Off to do some studying and reviewing so I don't forget everything I learned about being a doctor!
Saturday, June 17, 2006
June 17, 2006 10:11am
Sorry I haven't updated in a while. I seem to have an easier time writing when life sucks.
And right now it just doesn't suck at all!
Saw Mike on Wednesday night. Had an absolutely lovely evening. I made a fabulous dinner and he was completely impressed. Conversation was wonderful. He put together my grill for me. Very handy!
Yeah, I'm feelin' good.
Went to a friend's wedding last night. That was fun. got to see some of my old comrades from SBHCS. They want me to come back to work starting Tuesday. I love that work so much that it won't even feel like a summer job. Not only do I get to hang out with my friends, but I get to do something that I really believe in. Oh, for those out of the loop, I will be working with the disaster preparedness office again. Sweet!
And on a less fun note, my blood pressure has been running very high. I went to see my Dr. about it. Besides just having the high BP, I've also been having heart palpitations, headaches, and dizzy spells. I had some blood work done a few days ago and I'm supposed to go back to see her in 2 weeks. Then she's going to give me an EKG and have me wear a monitor for a while. Hopefully it will turn out to be something that's an easy fix like thyroid.
I'm off to enjoy this besutiful day!
And right now it just doesn't suck at all!
Saw Mike on Wednesday night. Had an absolutely lovely evening. I made a fabulous dinner and he was completely impressed. Conversation was wonderful. He put together my grill for me. Very handy!
Yeah, I'm feelin' good.
Went to a friend's wedding last night. That was fun. got to see some of my old comrades from SBHCS. They want me to come back to work starting Tuesday. I love that work so much that it won't even feel like a summer job. Not only do I get to hang out with my friends, but I get to do something that I really believe in. Oh, for those out of the loop, I will be working with the disaster preparedness office again. Sweet!
And on a less fun note, my blood pressure has been running very high. I went to see my Dr. about it. Besides just having the high BP, I've also been having heart palpitations, headaches, and dizzy spells. I had some blood work done a few days ago and I'm supposed to go back to see her in 2 weeks. Then she's going to give me an EKG and have me wear a monitor for a while. Hopefully it will turn out to be something that's an easy fix like thyroid.
I'm off to enjoy this besutiful day!
Friday, June 09, 2006
June 9, 2006 10:47pm
Life has been nice.
I've been home for a week and already got my first sunburn. Worked at the track a few times. I really enjoyed talking to some of the people who I work with. They all seem to think that DB is...well...a douche bag. One went so far as to say to DB, "Where are your fuckin' brains? You're really an ass hole." Right to his face. The best part is that this came from a 70-ish grandfather type who is on our crew. Love that man!
Things are going well with GFKAMM.
Ok, this is getting silly. His name is Mike. We'll call him that from now on.
Anyway, Mike has been working a lot lately so I haven't been able to see him. He works mostly in another state and stays there while he's needed, so I won't see him until he gets home...probably Sunday or any other day next week. We've been keeping in touch on the phone and our conversations have been very nice. He makes me smile.
Tonight I ordered a pizza and watched Must Love Dogs. Tomorrow I have the whole day off so I'll probably relax and do some reading.
I promised Nathan, my friend from school, that I would read All The King's Men this summer so we could go see the movie in September. Anyone else ever read this book? The lanugage is a little difficult (REALLY big words and very long sentences). Not a beach read at all! But I always welcome a literary challenge!
So the king and all his men and I are headed off to bed.
Oh, how do you all fall asleep? I just lay there and tooss and turn. The sunburn is going to make this uncomfortable for me tonight, but even when I'm pure alabaster I can't fall asleep or stay asleep for long. Any ideas?
I've been home for a week and already got my first sunburn. Worked at the track a few times. I really enjoyed talking to some of the people who I work with. They all seem to think that DB is...well...a douche bag. One went so far as to say to DB, "Where are your fuckin' brains? You're really an ass hole." Right to his face. The best part is that this came from a 70-ish grandfather type who is on our crew. Love that man!
Things are going well with GFKAMM.
Ok, this is getting silly. His name is Mike. We'll call him that from now on.
Anyway, Mike has been working a lot lately so I haven't been able to see him. He works mostly in another state and stays there while he's needed, so I won't see him until he gets home...probably Sunday or any other day next week. We've been keeping in touch on the phone and our conversations have been very nice. He makes me smile.
Tonight I ordered a pizza and watched Must Love Dogs. Tomorrow I have the whole day off so I'll probably relax and do some reading.
I promised Nathan, my friend from school, that I would read All The King's Men this summer so we could go see the movie in September. Anyone else ever read this book? The lanugage is a little difficult (REALLY big words and very long sentences). Not a beach read at all! But I always welcome a literary challenge!
So the king and all his men and I are headed off to bed.
Oh, how do you all fall asleep? I just lay there and tooss and turn. The sunburn is going to make this uncomfortable for me tonight, but even when I'm pure alabaster I can't fall asleep or stay asleep for long. Any ideas?
Thursday, June 01, 2006
June 1, 2006 3:17pm
Oh I am CRANKY!!!
It's hot as hell in my bedroom, so I've been sleeping on the couch in the living room. This means that my back hurts like hell.
I wish people would just SHUT UP. Just stop talking. For the love of God and all that is holy can we just have a moment of silence? When I'm sitting in lecture, people are constantly whispering to each other. More than just "What did he just say?" or "What time is this over?". No, not they have full conversations in a loud whisper. Totally distracting and rude. Just shut up people!
And I'm so sick and tired of people talking about how proud they are of how drunk they are going to get or have gotten. Is this supposed to be something that is admired? What if I talked about my ability to eat an entire pizza and more in one sitting? I'm a pig. But if I can drink 14 beers, well, then I'm a party! Why are these people all around me all the time? Why am I always being punished by having them in my life? Why is it so hard to get away from them? Why can't I find people like me? Why am I the only person who was born 35 years old?
And why is it that I study so incredibly hard and just get mediocre grades? Why it is I know my stuff cold and then can't answer the questions on the test? Why is it that the lushes get by without much work?
I never, ever, ever, ever should have agreed to go back to the track. The extra cash will be nice so I can buy stuff for my house that I need (like furniture), but I should have stuck with my original plan of not working or only working at my old job....which is starting to become a mess also since now they want me to do things that weren't in the original deal.
And I'm supposed to study tonight with someone, but I just want to stay home. I want to get a pizza and wallow in my bitterness.
Yes, I know there are people in the world with bigger problems than mine. I'm just having a crappy day and needed to vent.
Sunday, May 28, 2006
May 28, 2006 10:53pm
I went cave exploring with Georgina and Joe today. So much fun! I wimped out on going through the really tiny part where you'd have to crawl, but next time I'll be a little braver.
And this is what happened when I saw a bat....
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